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More Jokes

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    Counting the Days

    A fellow cop from our precinct had only a few months left on the job, and he could always…
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    CD Generation

    After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs, she was excited to discover…
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    Minister Call

    A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar.During her struggle the…
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    Calling For Technical Support

    Calling For Technical Support (sound familiar?)------------------------------ Ring...…
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    Fried Eggs

    A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly her husband burst…
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    Modern Day Proverbs

    ON DEEP THOUGHTS A day without sunshine is like night. ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES…
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    Bush Gore Debate

    For those who didn't have time to watch the presidential debate, we've prepared this…
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    Nabbed

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…
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    Dun in Texas

    A cowboy (named Julius?) rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink.…
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    Taa-Daa!

    A magician calls a man up on stage, hands him a mallet, and instructs the guy to hit him…
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    Basement Pitch

    The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and…
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    Untouched for 600 Years

    A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. "This…
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    Rifle Tech Support

    It was decided at Microsoft, during a brilliant brainstorming session, that military…
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    Golf Stroke

    "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at…
  • flower geranium

    Geraniums

    A man walked into a flower shop and after looking around for several minutes, asked the…

A midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. "One of the benefits of this profession," he explained, "is that we have built-in weather predictions."

"What do you mean by that?" asked one inquisitive visitor.

"When the cows are standing," the farmer explained, "it means no rain is likely for the next twenty-four hours. When they're lying down, it means it's going to rain."

"On our bus trip," another visitor piped in, "I saw half the herd standing and the other half lying down. What does this mean?"

The farmer flashed a smile and answered, "That means half of them are wrong."

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