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    Weather Forecaster

    To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door…
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    Sidewalk Meeting

    Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk, the Tom Cruise look-alike apologized, "Pardon me!"…
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    Label Warning

    My in-laws gave us a beautiful knife set--top quality.The accompanying cutting board,…
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    Sarahella

    After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a…
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    Happy Marriage

    On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy…
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    Breaker, Breaker Dog Buddy

    My son Ward owns a shiny green four-wheel-drive truck. He also owns a 110-pound black…
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    Bragging Rights

    A limousine had encountered a red traffic light and was waiting for it to change when a…
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    Coffee Vending Machine

    A man put his fifty cents in a vending machine and watched helplessly while the cup…
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    Professor Turns Plumber

    A professor of mathematics noticed that his kitchen sink at his home leaked. He called a…
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    Daddy's Trick

    The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said,"I'm so happy to see you…
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    Cheap Hearing Aid

    A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much…
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    The ABC Song

    Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?” Me: “Sure.” (He holds up a piece of…
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    Sisters at the Superbowl

    Two elderly sisters donated $25 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to the…
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    Maranatha

    David Jeremiah told of this one conference where a pastor was talking to the group and…
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    Top Ten Signs You Might Have a Bad Furnace Repair Guy

    10. His face permanently blackened like a cartoon bomb went off 9. Pushes his personal…

A midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. "One of the benefits of this profession," he explained, "is that we have built-in weather predictions."

"What do you mean by that?" asked one inquisitive visitor.

"When the cows are standing," the farmer explained, "it means no rain is likely for the next twenty-four hours. When they're lying down, it means it's going to rain."

"On our bus trip," another visitor piped in, "I saw half the herd standing and the other half lying down. What does this mean?"

The farmer flashed a smile and answered, "That means half of them are wrong."

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