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More Jokes

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    Freshman's Blind Date

    "How was your blind date?" a freshman college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the…
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    Taxi Craze

    Jill had to grab a cab to get to a meeting uptown. She hailed one down, got in, and told…
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    Anti-Burglar Signs

    The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few…
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    Convenient Robbery

    Tim and Bill were standing in a bank when a pair of robbers entered the lobby. Not only…
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    Goober 911

    Q: Why can't goobers dial 911?A: They can't find the "11" on the phone!
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    Gore Flubs

    We've all flubbed things we were trying to say - here are some flubs attributed to Al…
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    Not as Bad as They Say

    Thanks to my good, Texan friend Walter Smith for this one.Chuck was sitting in an…
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    Suffering Vanity

    Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her…
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    Earworms

    Earworms are songs that crawl into your head and stay. 98% of us have had a song stuck in…
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    Better Preaching

    After the visiting preacher finished, a woman came up and said, "You were much better…
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    Foot Snuggle

    On a chilly winter evening, my husband and I were snuggled together on the floor watching…
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    Mental Test

    A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a gathering of humor editors, and his host naturally…
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    Talking Dog

    A guy is driving around Wadsworth, Ohio and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking…
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    Ah, Mozart

    A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The…
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    The Beginning

    When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his…

A midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. "One of the benefits of this profession," he explained, "is that we have built-in weather predictions."

"What do you mean by that?" asked one inquisitive visitor.

"When the cows are standing," the farmer explained, "it means no rain is likely for the next twenty-four hours. When they're lying down, it means it's going to rain."

"On our bus trip," another visitor piped in, "I saw half the herd standing and the other half lying down. What does this mean?"

The farmer flashed a smile and answered, "That means half of them are wrong."

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