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More Jokes

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    Raffle Toy

    Tom had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have…
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    B.O.O.K.

    Introducing the Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge software: B.O.O.K. BOOK is a revolutionary…
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    Seatmate Choice

    The plane was only half-full. When an attractive young woman asked if the seat next to…
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    Preacher's Best Years

    A preacher, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help…
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    Refueling

    Once my wife and I had to take a flight that had 4 other stops before arriving at the…
  • This old woman would never drink beer.

    Bottle Drive

    The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles for a fund raising activity. One ambitious but…
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    Resurrection Update

    A singing group call "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a church.Everyone was…
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    Goober Catch

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Called In Sick

    Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union…
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    Car Recognition

    A man was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a…
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    Men, Dogs, Women

    1. How Dogs and Men Are the Same Both take up too much space on the bed.Both have…
  • doctor office

    Little Voice

    A man walks into his doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I've eaten something that…
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    Chinese Knitting

    Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Peyton Manning is to football. She designed…
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    Finest Equipment

    Morris had been playing golf for years, and he had the finest equipment, but his…
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    New Number Request

    Mom was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A medical billing service…

Don't squat with your spurs on.


Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm.  The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.

Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat.  It's not so important to know what it is, but it's sure crucial to know what it was.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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