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    Professional Animal Trainer

    As a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed when my own dog developed a bad habit.…
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    Social Showdown

    Two older women, Coleen and Melinda, who were rivals in a social circle met at a…
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    Biggest Lie

    Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you…
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    Radio Transmission

    This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a U.S. naval ship and…
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    Dead Seagull

    A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him,…
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    Mom's Time Out

    My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.One Saturday, as Mom was…
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    List Management

    Here is the list member's response - which is today's CleanLaugh.First the explanation…
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    Street Name

    "I'd like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the…
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    Dad's Pay Check

    Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My…
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    In Charge

    One evening a preschooler, Krystal, and her parents were sitting on the couch chatting.…
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    New Employee Travel Policy

    Due to the budget constraints, the following policies are announced regarding employees…
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    Space Pen

    During the space race of the 60's, NASA decided that they needed a ball point pen that…
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    Talking Surprise

    On a hot summer day, a farmer and his dog were riding in a wagon pulled by two horses.…
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    Work Phrases Explained

    *Work Phrases Explained*Activate:To make carbons and add more names to the memo.Advanced…
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    Golf Lesson

    This fellow's wife was constantly nagging him to teach her to play golf. Finally, one…

Don't squat with your spurs on.


Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm.  The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.

Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat.  It's not so important to know what it is, but it's sure crucial to know what it was.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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