logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Cowboy's Guide to Life

Don't squat with your spurs on.


Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm.  The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.

Tellin' a man to git lost and makin' him do it are two entirely different propositions.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat.  It's not so important to know what it is, but it's sure crucial to know what it was.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Turning Left

    My teenaged niece Elizabeth was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving…
  • Default Image

    Votive Candles

    Visiting St Patrick's Cathedral on a tour of New York City, my daughter and her children…
  • Picture of a car alarm remote

    Parenting Idea

    I was with a friend in a cafe' when a noisy car alarm interrupted our conversation. "What…
  • Default Image

    Grandpa's Gift

    The following is a true story submitted by list member Mary Lou F. from Kincardine,…
  • Default Image

    Plus or Minus One

    In a contest in The Washington Post, readers were asked to take an expression using a…
  • Default Image

    Movie Seats

    After I had purchased movie tickets for myself and my girlfriend, she went inside to find…
  • Default Image

    Innocent Question

    A prosecuting attorney just could not believe that a jury had found the defendant not…
  • Default Image

    Things My Mother Taught Me

    My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go…
  • Default Image

    Ploughing at Night

    A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends.…
  • Default Image

    Planning Ahead

    A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond…
  • motel sign

    Economy Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6:00 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I…
  • Default Image

    Free Will

    A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form.…
  • Default Image

    More Newspaper Bloopers

    Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and lectured on "Destructive Pests". A…
  • Default Image

    Eggplant Sale

    A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25ยข ea.--three for a dollar."All day long,…
  • Default Image

    Wittle Wabbits

    A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me,…