logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Crossing Chicken

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answers:

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forgot.

CAPTAIN JAMES T.  KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position.  The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.  Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man.  The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.  How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M.  NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road.  I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road.  Who cares why?  The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road?  I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road ..  it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die.  In the rain.

MICHAEL SCHUMACHER; it was an instinctive maneuver, the chicken obviously didn't see the road until he had already started to cross.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

HILLARY CLINTON: It was part of a vast right-wing conspiracy against my husband.

BILL CLINTON: The chicken did NOT cross the road.  Not a single time.  Never.
(It was a boulevard.)

More Jokes

  • river

    Goober at the River

    You can find a picture of a goober at…
  • Default Image

    Business Exhaustion

    The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped…
  • Default Image

    Funny Answering Machines

    "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very…
  • wise owl

    Words and Questions From the Wise

    *Words and Questions From the "Wise"* I intend to live forever. So far, so good. If…
  • Default Image

    You and Your Boss: The Subtle Differences

    If you take a long time, you're slow. But if your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.…
  • Default Image

    New Medical Technology

    A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several…
  • Default Image

    Punctuation

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
  • Default Image

    Absent Minded Professor

    One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded…
  • woman2

    Mellowing Mom

    I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my…
  • cow3

    Miracle Return

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.…
  • Default Image

    Turkey Shopping

    It was Christmas Eve in a supermarket and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few…
  • Default Image

    Egg Timing

    A friend of mine, a new bride, was on her honeymoon and spent one night at her spouse's…
  • pig upclose

    How To Lose Your First Case

    A young lawyer, just out of Law School, was pleading his first case in South Carolina. A…
  • Default Image

    Dignified Exit

    One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed…
  • A funny clean joke about a dog and a truck and a parking lot.

    Dog Driver

    As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind…