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More Jokes

  • County Chairmen

    County Chairmen

    Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together. The Democratic chairman…
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    Parachute Charity

    I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On our first day of…
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    Diet Additive

    During one of our weekly weight-loss classes, the group leader was extolling the merits…
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    Air Boss

    Activated from the Army Reserves for a joint service Arctic exercise, I was assigned to…
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    Cat Petting

    We moved into an apartment while we were looking for a place that would let us keep our…
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    Rattlesnakes

    Felix, my husband, was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into…
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    Suspicious Delivery

    There was an unexpected knock on my door, and like I always do I first opened the…
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    You Know You're a Northerner When

    You know you're a northerner when...~ you know the 4 seasons - winter, still winter, not…
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    Bunch Of Laughs

    Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: The Gate of…
  • movie seats

    Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies

    - It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. - A…
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    Good Singer

    In a Brooklyn upscale pet shop, an elderly woman burst into the store. "I want to buy a…
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    What A Hoot

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…
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    Phrases for When you Receive Unwanted Gifts

    Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presents you would rather not…
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    Half Diet

    A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her…
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    Dishwasher Repair

    Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work…

car fastThere's a man trying to cross the street.

As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him.

So the guy turns around to go back, but the car changes lanes again and is still coming at him.

By now, the car is so close and the man so scared that he just freezes and stops in the middle of the road.

The car gets real close, then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt right next to him.

The driver rolls down the window. The driver is a squirrel. The squirrel says to the man,

"See, it's not as easy as it looks, is it?"

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