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    The End Of The World

    When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it? USA Today: WE'RE DEAD The…
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    Finishing

    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So…
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    Window Washer

    There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from…
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    Snake Glasses

    An old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very…
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    Application

    An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you…
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    Jury Excuse

    "Please, Your Honor, I'd like to be excused from jury duty," pleaded an anxious-looking…
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    Finally

    A man was sleeping when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is breaking in!"…
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    Missed Delivery

    Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So, when one irate…
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    Low 80's Golf

    "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at…
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    Name Confusion

    Working at an airline ticket counter, I pulled up a passenger's reservation that showed…
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    Tracing Family

    Dear Abby:I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to…
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    Junior's Nickels

    There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The…
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    It Might Be Cleaner

    After trying for hours to get my daughters to clean their room, I burst in and yelled,…
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    Why Are You Here?

    A man dressed as napoleon went to see a psychiatrist at the urging of his wife. "What's…
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    Mr. Jones Is History

    Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it a practice to visit the classes from…

Dear Milkman...

"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."

"Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk."

"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"

"Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."

"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."

"Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round."

"When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you 'to give me a hand to turn the mattress."

My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."

"Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me."

"Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."

"From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk."

My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table, because we want to play bingo tonight."

"Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday or is it today?"

"When you come with the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don't leave any milk."

"No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice."

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