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More Jokes

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    Card Reader Instructions

    Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank still don't know how to swipe…
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    Vacuum Manure

    A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a…
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    Bump Start

    About five years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the…
  • Signs of our Time

    Signs of the Times

    In a veterinarian's office:"All unattended children given free kitten" In the parking lot…
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    Skeleton in the Closet

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Crossing Chicken

    Question: Why did the chicken cross the road? Answers: KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to…
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    Drum Problem

    There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He…
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    Mint Mom

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
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    Pastoral Visit

    After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited…
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    Transcribing Confusion

    We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came…
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    Refrigerator Goals

    When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the…
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    Clergy Crowd Control

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
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    Scale Pondering

    Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department…
  • golf bag

    Golf Comeback

    (This joke is based on an actual event which is a part of golf lore around the world). A…
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    The 3 stages of man

    The 3 stages of man:He believes in Santa Claus.He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.He is…

Dear Milkman...

"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."

"Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk."

"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"

"Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."

"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."

"Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round."

"When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you 'to give me a hand to turn the mattress."

My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."

"Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me."

"Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."

"From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk."

My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table, because we want to play bingo tonight."

"Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday or is it today?"

"When you come with the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don't leave any milk."

"No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice."

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