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More Jokes

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    Animal Thoughts

    Dog: "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl." Goldfish: "Just because I…
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    Watch This

    A C-130 Hercules cargo plane was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by. The jet…
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    Flight Observation

    On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was…
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    Family Cleaning

    Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed…
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    Gift Diamonds

    Morris ran into Jacob while shopping at the mall the other day in front of one of the…
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    Goober on the Loose

    Three convicts escaped from prison. They made it to the downtown of a nearby city but…
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    Late at Walmart

    Charley, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on…
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    Environmental Problem

    This was an actual letter from and reply to the Michigan Department of Environmental…
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    Remember When

    An old couple is sitting in their living room when the old woman leans over and says to…
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    Stair Climbing

    Most mornings I go to the local YMCA to exercise. One morning there was a big man working…
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    Updated Punishment

    "When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was…
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    104 Year Best

    Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing…
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    Charm School 101

    At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the instructor in a "Charm…
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    High Blood Pressure

    A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basic…
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    Alligator Teeth

    A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. "What is it made of?" she…

Dear Milkman...

"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."

"Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk."

"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"

"Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."

"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."

"Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round."

"When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you 'to give me a hand to turn the mattress."

My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."

"Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me."

"Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."

"From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk."

My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table, because we want to play bingo tonight."

"Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday or is it today?"

"When you come with the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don't leave any milk."

"No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice."

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