logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Career Change

    When Ruthie's grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor…
  • Default Image

    Anniversary Card

    It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office.He told the…
  • Default Image

    ATM Correction

    My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community…
  • Default Image

    Eye Exam

    Eye-examination charts vary according to the manufacturer, but one thing they have in…
  • Default Image

    English Time

    In my English-as-a-second-language class, I explained the difference between a watch and…
  • Default Image

    Flight Advice

    On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was…
  • Default Image

    Almost Redialed

    I still have a lot of trouble with wrong numbers. Yesterday I dialed the Red Cross and…
  • Default Image

    Ten Things A Cat Thinks About

    *Ten Things A Cat Thinks About*1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.2. Is there…
  • Default Image

    Rest In Peace

    A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for…
  • Default Image

    Are you a Grinch? Test

    *"Are you a Grinch?" Test*1. You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out…
  • Default Image

    Price Reduction

    Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per…
  • Default Image

    Translated Golf

    An American was golfing at the Old Course in St. Andrews, Scotland. He slices his opening…
  • Default Image

    Caught on the Job

    The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 A.M. He did his best for a while, but at…
  • snowman

    Learned From a Snowman

    "All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman.... " --It's okay if you're a…
  • Default Image

    The Rules of Combat

    Now here's one for all you combat veterans, corporate bureaucrats, folks in the…

From an actual newspaper contest where entrants ages 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey."

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13

It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. --Age 8

Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any ol' person vote. --Age 10

Home is where the house is. --Age 6

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. --Age 6

When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again.  But he better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell. --Age 5

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day.  At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. --Age 7

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. --Age 15

Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies.  Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with! --Age 6

The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't it morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?" --Age 15

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. --Age 15

Powered By JFBConnect