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    Doctor Quotes

    The following quotes were allegedly taken from actual medical records as dictated by…
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    Awake Tip

    Tech support people like me spend our days on the phone with customers. Many like to chat…
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    Cave Soliciting

    Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing.…
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    Gift Mug

    I had to go on a business trip the day after my honeymoon, so I decided to purchase a…
  • This old woman would never drink beer.

    Bottle Drive

    The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles for a fund raising activity. One ambitious but…
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    2 Bad Days

    You're NOT having a bad day ... these people had bad days: 1. The average cost of…
  • woman

    The Mystery Of Women

    I know I'm never going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take…
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    The Chief's Wife

    "NEXT," the conference emcee announced, "we have the chief of the Minnesota State Patrol,…
  • picture of a hang glider

    Zeek's Hang Glider

    In the back woods of Gooberland, you don't see too many people hang-gliding. Ol' Zeek,…
  • sunday school

    No Hero of Mine

    "King David used to be a hero of mine, but not anymore," little Brodie told his mother…
  • centipede

    Centipede Snack

    A guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to…
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    Electrical Officer

    My daughter is an electrical officer on a carrier. Recently I asked her what her duties…
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    Farmer Joe & Bessie

    Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the…
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    Overdrawn

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
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    Who Said That?

    If quitters never win, & winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're…

ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIPER:
A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MYTH:
A female moth.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:
Something other people have.  You have character lines.

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