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    Bathroom Exasperation

    As the lone female in our house, I find that certain male habits have really begun to get…
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    Take Two Instead

    A man takes a photo of the front of his house to the local copy store and asks the clerk…
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    Golf Friendless

    "Bob, why don't you play golf with John anymore?" asked a friend."Would you play golf…
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    Homework Problem

    One of my third-graders came to school crying. "Jonathan's upset because he couldn't…
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    Money Date

    Part way through his dinner date, my brother deduced the woman he was with was more…
  • cooking

    Martha's Way vs. My Way #2

    Martha's way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a…
  • school house

    Homework Policy

    Here is an explanation of the school homework policy: Students should not spend more than…
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    Dream Woman

    A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of…
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    A Short History of Medicine

    "Doctor, I have an ear ache."2000 BC - "Here, eat this root."1000 BC - "That root is…
  • lawn ornaments

    Lawn Ornaments

    Customer at a counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two of…
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    City Kids Camping

    Two boys from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce the boys had…
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    Finally

    A man was sleeping when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is breaking in!"…
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    Three Rules

    One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to…
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    Driver's License Examiners

    While discussing the plight of Driver's license examiners, a former motor-vehicle-bureau…
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    Pants

    Doug had always been teased by his friends that his wife was more successful than he was.…

The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had reported a net profit of $80,000 for the year.

"Why don't you people leave me alone?" the deli owner said. "I work like a dog, everyone in my family helps out, and the place is closed only three days a year. And you want to know how I made $80,000?"

"It's not your income that bothers us," the agent said. "It's these deductions. You listed six trips to Bermuda for you and your wife."

"Oh, that," the owner said, smiling. "I forgot to tell you - we also deliver."

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