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More Jokes

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    Measuring Up

    The following question appeared in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:…
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    Priest's Uniform

    A little boy, not accustomed to seeing a priest in his "work uniform" went up to the…
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    The Hokey Pokey

    *The Hokey Pokey*Original LyricsPut your left foot in,Your left foot out,Your left foot…
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    DIY Complications

    The middle-aged man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as his wife helped him…
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    Laboratory Cells

    My mother works in a laboratory and is responsible for keeping tissue cultures alive. So…
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    How the Media Would Cover the Apocalypse

    How the Media Would Cover the Apocalypse USA Today:WE'RE DEAD The Wall Street Journal:DOW…
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    Senior Ailments

    A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are…
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    Chapstick

    We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died.Jack was a great cat…
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    Newspaper Ads

    **Our experienced mother will care for your child. Fenced yards, meals and smacks…
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    The Ten Most Common Forms of Office Illness

    *The Ten Most Common Forms of Office Illness* 1. The Macy's One Day Sale Flu. 2. The…
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    Jonah Test

    A little girl was observed by her pastor standing outside the pre-school Sunday School…
  • woman old

    I'm Aging Gracefully

    I'm the life of the party ... even when it lasts until 8 p.m I'm very good at opening…
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    Medically Speaking

    The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he…
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    The friars of Flowers (pun alert)

    Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to…
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    The Cautious Pilot

    Taxiing down the tarmac, a jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the…

picture of project documents*Dictionary of Project Terms*

Project slightly behind original schedule due to unforeseen difficulties -- We got so sick of working on this that we decided to do something else.

Major Technological Breakthrough -- Back to the drawing board.

Developed after years of intensive research -- It was discovered by accident.

Customer satisfaction is believed assured -- We are so far behind schedule that the customer will be happy to get anything at all from us.

The design will be finalized in the next reporting period -- We haven't started this job yet, but we've got to say something.

Test results were extremely gratifying -- It works, and are we surprised.

Extensive effort is being applied on a fresh approach to the problem -- We just hired three new guys; we'll let them kick it around for a while.

Preliminary operational tests are inconclusive -- The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

The entire concept will have to be abandoned -- The only guy who understood the thing quit.

Modifications are under way to correct certain minor difficulties -- We threw the whole thing out and are starting from scratch.

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