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    A Primer For Accordion Beginners

    Get an accordion. The cheaper the better because they all sound the same.Do not tell…
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    Don't Smoke

    A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once lit up a…
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    The Littlest Informant

    As a recently divorced police officer, and new to the dating scene, I was thrilled but…
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    Hitchhiker Problem

    John was driving home late one night when he picked up a hitchhiker.As they rode along he…
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    Noise Abatement

    "Flight 1234," the control tower advised, "turn right 45 degrees for noise…
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    What Am I?

    Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had…
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    Rejected Invitation

    Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her…
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    Rank Explanation

    My brother Ken was home on leave from his post in Hawaii, when he announced that he had…
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    Piranha Spell

    While my third-grade class was completing a writing exercise, one of the students asked…
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    Do Not Disturb

    After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a…
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    Lawyer Light Bulb

    Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Such number as may be deemed…
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    Kitten Revival

    A mother looked out a window and saw Johnny playing church with their three kittens. He…
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    Chopsticks

    A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with…
  • office woman

    Control Seminar

    The company I work for sometimes puts on what they call "Lunch and Learn" seminars during…
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    Little Johnny Tested

    The school was having trouble with Little Johnny and decided to have him tested by a…

Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones.  One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"

The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old."

"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist.  "How do you know their age so precisely?"

The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."

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