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    Diamond Assumption

    An acquaintance of mine, whose daughter was about to be married, decided to give her a…
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    Genius

    A guy did system support in a law firm. One day, he had to log a user off and then back…
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    Forced Landing

    A flight instructor was sent out to help a student who had radioed that he was about to…
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    Goober Mom Writes Goober Son

    Dear Son, I am writing slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we…
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    The Night Before Y2K

    'Twas the night before New Year,and all through the nation,We awaited Y2K,the millennium…
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    Engaged Beauty

    Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her…
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    Corn Problem

    We were eating corn on the cob two weeks ago and my 5-year-old daughter Rachel seemed to…
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    Can You See Me?

    I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually-impaired adults. Many…
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    Forbidden Words

    An English professor announced to the class, "There are two words I don't allow in my…
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    Shhhhhh!

    A father had three very active boys. One summer evening, he was playing cops and robbers…
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    State of the Pastor

    The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked…
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    Ghandi Pun

    Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that the soles of his feet became…
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    Chickens in the Sack

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. There were two…
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    Bus Pole

    While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole,…
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    Absent Minded Professor

    One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded…

A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do you have any small note- books?"

"Sorry," says the manager. "We're all out."

The woman shrugs, and asks, "Well, do you have any mechanical pencils?"

"Nope, don't have that either," says the manager.

The woman feels her stomach rumbling and asks, "Do you have Doritos? Nachos?"

The manager shrugs, "Sorry."

"Hmmph. How about Chapstick?" says the woman.

"Nope. Don't have that."

"Wow!" the woman shouts, "If you don't have anything, you should close the stupid store!"

The manager shrugs, "Don't have the key."

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