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More Jokes

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    Answering Machine Messages

    *Answering Machine Messages*Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already…
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    Too Distant / Too Close

    The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To…
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    Drag Racing Moped

    A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2005 Turbo Z123DX. It is the…
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    House Call

    Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house.…
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    VIP Impression

    My husband was once employed in the printing division of a large manufacturing firm. One…
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    Cheap Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6am wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke…
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    Scale Pondering

    Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department…
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    Excerpts From Actual Letters Sent To Landlords

    1. "The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared." 2. "This…
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    Lost Bid

    Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly…
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    PTA Speakers

    As a traffic safety consultant, I often gave talks to organizations on accident…
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    Message Break

    A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle…
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    Pilot, Let's Go!

    With his request approved, the CNN News cameraman quickly used his cell phone to call the…
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    Get Better Soon

    A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to…
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    Zookeeper's Dilemma

    A zookeeper wanted to get some extra animals for his zoo, so he decided to compose a…
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    Missionary Mimicking

    A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the…

A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do you have any small note- books?"

"Sorry," says the manager. "We're all out."

The woman shrugs, and asks, "Well, do you have any mechanical pencils?"

"Nope, don't have that either," says the manager.

The woman feels her stomach rumbling and asks, "Do you have Doritos? Nachos?"

The manager shrugs, "Sorry."

"Hmmph. How about Chapstick?" says the woman.

"Nope. Don't have that."

"Wow!" the woman shouts, "If you don't have anything, you should close the stupid store!"

The manager shrugs, "Don't have the key."

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