logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Dog House Rules Progression

1.  Dogs are never permitted in the house.  The dog stays outside in a specially built wooden compartment named, for very good reason, the dog house.

2.  Okay, the dog can enter the house, but only for short visits or if his own house is under renovation.

3.  Okay, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent basis, provided his dog house can be sold in a yard sale to a rookie dog owner.

4.  Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run free and is confined to a comfortable but secure metal cage.

5.  Okay, the cage becomes part of a two-for-one deal along with the dog house in the yard sale, and the dog can go wherever he pleases.

6.  The dog is never allowed on the furniture.

7.  Okay, the dog can get on the old furniture but not the new furniture.

8.  Okay, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it looks like the old furniture and then we'll sell the whole works and buy new furniture...  upon which the dog will most definitely not be allowed.

9.  The dog never sleeps on the bed.  Period.

10.  Okay, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed.

11.  Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you, but he's not allowed under the covers.

12.  Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers but not with his head on the pillow.

13.  Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you under the covers with his head on the pillow, but if he snores he's got to leave the room.

14.  Okay, the dog can sleep and snore and have nightmares in bed, but he's not to come in and sleep on the couch in the TV room, where I'm now sleeping.  That's just not fair.

15.  The dog never gets listed on the census questionnaire as "primary resident," even if it's true.

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    62nd Birthday

    My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I…
  • Default Image

    Setting The Table

    Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped set the table when company was due for…
  • children play

    Wills Explained

    I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the…
  • Default Image

    World's Easiest Test

    Here is the world's easiest test. You should be able to get 100% on this one. 1. How long…
  • Default Image

    Quickest Way to York

    A man approached a local person in a village he was visiting. "What's the quickest way to…
  • cooking with gas

    Servicemen Foot Race

    Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out…
  • Default Image

    Unknown Reindeer

    The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and about to answer the…
  • Default Image

    Signs of Aging

    You know you're getting older if:1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.2. Your try…
  • Default Image

    Career Change

    When Ruthie's grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor…
  • Default Image

    The Upper Hand

    A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation…
  • Default Image

    Warning Sign

    Vacationing in Alaska, I couldn't help but notice all the warnings about bears posted in…
  • guard dog

    Guard Dog

    My sister-in-law, a truck driver, decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a…
  • Default Image

    Burning Call

    A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is…
  • Default Image

    Find and Replace

    The age of the computer brings much ease and expertise to the preparation of the worship…
  • Default Image

    New and Approved

    The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a goodnight story.…