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More Jokes

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    Season Ticket Swap

    Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly,…
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    The Congregation Replied

    Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the…
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    Mother Quotes

    PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight…
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    Scared vs. Apprehension

    As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night-time exercises. Once,…
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    Tendjewberrymud

    Its amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation...... Read…
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    Car Fire

    I had just pulled into a parking spot at the home improvement store when smoke and flames…
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    Speeding Registration

    On a long drive from Virginia, I thought I was traveling at a reasonable speed, but the…
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    It Might Be Cleaner

    After trying for hours to get my daughters to clean their room, I burst in and yelled,…
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    The Cowboy's New Car

    Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart alec Tex" said the…
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    Baseball Class

    A profesor at the University of Pennsylvania was known for giving boring, cliche-ridden…
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    Moving Labels

    Having moved 15 times during our 37-year marriage, my husband and I appreciate movers who…
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    Newlywed Compromise

    For our first New Year's together as a married couple, my wife offered me a choice of…
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    The French Legionnaires

    There's these two French Legionnaires in the desert, and they've been separated from…
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    Dayvorce

    A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.The attorney…
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    Sorry I'm Late Mom

    Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy…

"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
- Unknown

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
- Gene Hill

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
- Groucho Marx

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."
- Aldous Huxley

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
- Robert Benchley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?  I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
- Sue Murphy

"I loathe people who keep dogs.  They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
- August Strindberg

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
- Joe Weinstein

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
- Ann Landers

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
- Robert A.  Heinlein

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
- Ben Williams

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
- Edward Abbey

"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."
- Unknown

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail."
- Unknown

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