More Jokes

  • plane passenger window

    On Time

    The passengers were leaving the plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied passenger…
  • rest area

    I'll Call Back

    Leaving Montreal for Quebec, I decided to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the…
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    Signs that the Starship Enterprise is Nearing the End of It's Warranty

    - Impulse engines stall when used in reverse.- Digital speedometer on helm console stuck…
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    Bumper Stickers

    If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue YouForget World Peace -- Visualize…
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    Pet Names

    Bernie was invited to his ageing friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded…
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    Dog Sweater

    In an upscale pet-supply store, a customer wanted to buy a red sweater for her dog.The…
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    Engineering Dictionary

    *Engineering Dictionary*What the Engineer says (What it really means)A number of…
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    Kitchen Help

    The wife was busy frying eggs, when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and…
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    Snake Glasses

    An old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very…
  • crowd1

    The Top Ten Things Not to Do at Your Child's Performance or Sports Event

    10. Try to pep up the dance recital crowd by starting "the wave." 9. Do a halftime…
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    What is Marketing?

    What is Marketing?You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am…
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    More Newspaper Bloopers

    Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and lectured on "Destructive Pests". A…
  • Picture of a gas cap

    Trading Caps

    I have a friend who filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had…
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    Farmer Joe & Bessie

    Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the…
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    GOLF, n.

    [1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad…

Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother, Josh, and I decided to buy her one as a gift. The problem was we weren't sure what to get, because it was an odd size. Fortunately, my brother happened to be visiting my mother one day when I called home. "Measure the bed frame before you leave," I told him.

"I don't have a tape measure."

"You can use a dollar bill," I suggested, "each one is six inches long."

"Can't," he replied after digging through his wallet, "I only have a ten."

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