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    50th Anniversary

    At my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary, I was looking through a photo album of their…
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    Best Man

    A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats…
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    Ten Things a Mom Doesn't Want to Hear

    1. I swallowed a goldfish. 2. Your lipstick works better than crayons. 3. Does grape…
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    Amateur Photographer

    An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends, and he took along a few…
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    Backwoods Delivery

    Deep in the backwoods, the goober's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and…
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    Baseball Class

    A profesor at the University of Pennsylvania was known for giving boring, cliche-ridden…
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    Perfect Mate

    At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to…
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    Professional Animal Trainer

    As a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed when my own dog developed a bad habit.…
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    School Excuse

    At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade teachers were Miss Paine and…
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    Headstones

    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to…
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    First Date Nerves

    A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks…
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    Eulogy

    The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked…
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    Service for One

    On Sunday, the new young pastor arrived at church and found only an old farmer had shown…
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    Now, Now Ellen

    A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As…
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    Five Tech Replies

    Five things you don't want to hear from Tech Support: 1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!" 2. "In…

Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother, Josh, and I decided to buy her one as a gift. The problem was we weren't sure what to get, because it was an odd size. Fortunately, my brother happened to be visiting my mother one day when I called home. "Measure the bed frame before you leave," I told him.

"I don't have a tape measure."

"You can use a dollar bill," I suggested, "each one is six inches long."

"Can't," he replied after digging through his wallet, "I only have a ten."

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