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More Jokes

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    Bachelor Cooking

    Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.…
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    Fast Driver

    My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we…
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    Cow Predictions

    A midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. "One of…
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    Reasons Not To Wash

    If you took the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to…
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    Subway Drop

    The Manhattan Commuter train was packed. Suddenly there was a jingle on the floor. Most…
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    Dog Growth

    A distraught dog owner called his vet pleading for an immediate appointment. He explained…
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    Wimpy Dad

    One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into…
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    Monitors

    I sell new and used computers for a living. At an exhibit and sale, I decided to give…
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    Charity Auction

    The auto auction I attended was selling cars to benefit charity. Vehicles were classified…
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    Cow-isms

    *Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms.* Socialism: You have…
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    Kangaroo Fence

    A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high,…
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    Mother Ring

    While picking up a prescription, I noticed that the woman who gave me my medication was…
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    Letter Pride

    One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor about her son, a college student. "Why,…
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    Noise Abatement

    "Flight 1234," the control tower advised, "turn right 45 degrees for noise…
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    Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement

    New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.You will never get the urge to use the…

store signA woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do you have any small notebooks?"

"Sorry," says the manager. "We're all out."

The woman shrugs, and asks, "Well, do you have any mechanical pencils?"

"Nope, don't have that either," says the manager.

The woman feels her stomach rumbling and asks, "Do you have Doritos? Nachos?"

The manager shrugs, "Sorry."

"Hmmph. How about Chapstick?" says the woman.

"Nope. Don't have that."

"Well" the woman says, "If you don't have anything, why don't you close the store?"

The manager shrugs, "Can't. Don't have the key."

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