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  • If General Motors had a car help line

    Car Help Line

    General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because…
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    And Then They Voted

    While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was…
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    Dad Sayings

    I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance…
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    Foreign Phrases - Sort of

    A New York magazine recently ran a contest. The rules were to take any well-known phrase…
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    Red, White and Blue

    A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American."Our…
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    Losing Load

    A trucker stops for red light and a goober girl catches up. She knocks on the door and…
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    Two Feet

    A teenager was always asking his father if he could borrow the family car. Pushed to the…
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    Cough Remedy

    The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against the wall. The…
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    Bubba's Friends

    Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just…
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    Half Diet

    A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her…
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    Dear Milkman…

    Dear Milkman..."Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one.""Please…
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    More Actual Classified Ads

    More Actual Classified Ads - - - - - Stock up and save. Limit: one. - We build bodies…
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    Never Too Old

    Two elderly gentlemen were visiting. "I guess you're never too old," the first one…
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    Freezer Order

    I have my own system for labeling homemade freezer meals. Forget calling them "Veal…
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    Excuses To Give When You Have Missed Work

    ~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me…

When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down. One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks.

A student came in, and his eyes widened. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "You should wear clothes like that every day. You look, like, twenty years younger.

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