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    Marry An Actor

    An aspiring young actor asked a young lady's father if he could have his daughter's hand…
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    Cat Prayer

    Cat PrayerNow I lay me down to sleep,I pray this cushy life to keep.I pray for toys that…
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    Understanding the Signs

    Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing…
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    Hard to Pronounce

    As a Dominican sister, I lived in a convent named for a deceased pope. One day while I…
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    Elevator Repair

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    Holding A Job

    A young man was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job.After a visit to…
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    Three Red Lights

    Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Neither could barely see over the…
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    Beware of Bread

    A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD."…
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    Return Policy

    The store's policy on returns was prominently posted at every register as well as…
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    The Head Hog

    The secretary picked up the phone and heard a very "countryfied" voice on the other end…
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    Parking Solution

    A pastor of a two-church parish had to drive every Sunday morning about 4 miles from the…
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    Anti Stress Diet

    This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that…
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    Goober Mechanic

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were…
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    Missed Bus

    The new family in the neighborhood overslept, and their six-year-old daughter missed her…
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    Bank Hiccups

    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home."

"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.

"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained.

"She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"

"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked.

"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."

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