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More Jokes

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    Lost Ball

    My job as a land surveyor took me to a golf course that was expanding from 9 holes to 18…
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    Abstract Noun

    "An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch…
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    Things Not To Say When Hanging The Lights

    Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three most stressful…
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    Larger Than 20

    A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our…
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    Morning Run

    The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a…
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    Unwritten Warning Labels

    *Unwritten Warning Labels*On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive…
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    Seeing Eye Dog

    A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing eye dog one day. When they come to…
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    Glass Honesty

    As the three ladies picked up a menu, each put on a pair of glasses."I really only need…
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    Ten for Sure

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…
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    Raise Request

    Employee: I have been here 11 years doing three men's work for one man's pay. Now I want…
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    Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen

    A friend was lecturing in Latin America. He was going to use a translator, but to…
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    Hair Curlers

    My wife still uses curlers in her hair after she washes it. The other night she came into…
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    Campaign Funding

    Can you believe a candidate dropped out of the race because of a lack of campaign funds?…
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    Parenting Test

    MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the Wet…
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    Senior Ailments

    A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are…

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.

"You don't want to try these techniques at home."

"Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience.

"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained.  "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time.   'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"

The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?"

The expert replied, "Actually, yes.  It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready.  Now I do it in seven."

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