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    Election Poetry

    In olden times, it could be decades before major events were cast in verse. But The Great…
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    You Know You're Getting Old When

    You know you're getting there when... Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt…
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    Now, Now Ellen

    A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As…
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    Miles and Eggs

    The teacher noticed that Mike had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get…
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    Sticking Out

    At our daughter's high school graduation, I couldn't help noticing a young man sporting a…
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    Black Snake

    It was the first camping experience for Jed.As soon as he had pitched his tent, he went…
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    Just A Kiss Per Yard

    Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy…
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    Missionary Mimicking

    A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the…
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    Tourism Promotion

    Traveling through New England, a motorist stopped for gas in a tiny village. "What's this…
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    Procrastinator's Creed

    1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. 2. I shall…
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    Charity Answer

    Father O'Shea, the parish priest in the village, was giving a sermon about charity. He…
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    More Dog Quotes

    "If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise" -Unknown "In dog years, I'm…
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    Muddy General

    During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered…
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    Yale Educated

    (Wondering what a goober is? You can see one here.) The bank manager noticed the new…
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    Efficient Breakfast

    The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to…

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.

"You don't want to try these techniques at home."

"Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience.

"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained.  "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time.   'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"

The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?"

The expert replied, "Actually, yes.  It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready.  Now I do it in seven."

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