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  • snails

    Turtle Accident

    Two snails were standing on the side of the road, a turtle stopped and said, "Do you guys…
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    Rare Steak

    A cattle rancher went into town on a Saturday night for a sit-down steak dinner. When the…
  • golf bag

    Golf Comeback

    (This joke is based on an actual event which is a part of golf lore around the world). A…
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    Moose Hunters

    Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska. They have a good…
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    Junior's Nickels

    There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The…
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    New Russian

    I just returned from a mission trip in Belarus, where we were building churches. My…
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    Mowing the Lawn

    I was trying to mow the lawn before my husband got home from work, but our electric lawn…
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    Illegal Turn

    A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it…
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    Computer Error

    I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Bob the computer guy, to come over.…
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    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over for speeding by a police officer. As the officer was writing the…
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    Field Test

    My father, an Army major, was conducting a field test when communications went dead.…
  • a picture of newspapers

    Headlines from 2050

    *Headlines from 2050* Florida to Be Re-admitted to Union Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten…
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    Cell Phone Find

    An employee of the airport found a cell phone in one of the boarding areas. She switched…
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    Goober Grave Readers

    Three goobers, Bubba, Earl and Jeb, were walking home late one night and found themselves…
  • Picture of a hunter

    Pygmy Hunter

    A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead elephant with a pigmy standing…

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.

"You don't want to try these techniques at home."

"Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience.

"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained.  "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time.   'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"

The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?"

The expert replied, "Actually, yes.  It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready.  Now I do it in seven."

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