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    The Good Night Kiss

    At the end of their first date, a young man takes the girl back to her home. Emboldened…
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    Comedians' Convention

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    New Home No Hears

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    Amateur Paleontologist

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    Surgeon Roast

    Harry hosted a dinner party. One of his guests was a surgeon. While deftly carving the…
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    Flight Instructions

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    Next Question

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    Cheap Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6am wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke…
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    Top Ten Signs You're in for a Long Sermon

    10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler. 9. The pews have…
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    Grandmothers

    The following have been taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds.A grandmother…
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    Egg Contents

    One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached…
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    Bus Fare to Train Station

    Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver, "What is the fare to the train station?"…
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    Nativity Accent

    In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent…
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    Great Cheese

    The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased with his meal that he asked to…
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    Landing Check

    I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in…

*18 Things That Never Happened On Star Trek*

1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.

2. The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly all right.

3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works properly.

4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new life form, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life form wearing a funny hat.

5. The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick-bay.

6. The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.

7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.

8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.

9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.

10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.

11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some chocolate.

12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems.

13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.

14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century.

15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.

16. Counselor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.

17. The warp engines start going haywire, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.

18. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of one in three sentences that anyone says to him.

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