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  • river

    Goober at the River

    You can find a picture of a goober at…
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    Field Test

    My father, an Army major, was conducting a field test when communications went dead.…
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    Choruses vs Hymns

    young, new Christian went to his local small town church one weekend. He came home and…
  • bill

    Check Your Bill

    A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big…
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    Coffee Pain

    Linda and Jill were chatting over coffee.Said Linda, "I've been experiencing a strange…
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    Yes, We Have No Chocolate

    A man goes into an ice cream parlor and says, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice…
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    Now, Now Ellen

    A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As…
  • police pull over

    Pull Over Cookies

    Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Canada, I was stopped by a state trooper…
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    In the Bag

    I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on…
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    Steeple Paint

    The church steeple in Port Gibson is very high, and was being painted on a rather hot…
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    Keep Walking

    An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him.…
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    Grandma's Meat Loaf

    A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make…
  • horse snow

    Blizzard Police

    While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a policeman,…
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    Slow Train

    A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger…
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    Rental Description

    On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver…

*18 Things That Never Happened On Star Trek*

1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.

2. The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly all right.

3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works properly.

4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new life form, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life form wearing a funny hat.

5. The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick-bay.

6. The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.

7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.

8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.

9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.

10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.

11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some chocolate.

12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems.

13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.

14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century.

15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.

16. Counselor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.

17. The warp engines start going haywire, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.

18. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of one in three sentences that anyone says to him.

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