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    Novice Immerser

    The young son of a Baptist minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first…
  • A funny clean joke about a dog and a truck and a parking lot.

    Dog Driver

    As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind…
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    Words to Ponder

    *Words to Ponder* Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. I'd kill…
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    Longevity

    A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the…
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    Dress Code for Seniors

    Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go…
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    Field Test

    My father, an Army major, was conducting a field test when communications went dead.…
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    Blockbuster Surprise

    Without realizing it, I walked right into a police stakeout at my local Blockbuster. When…
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    Pastor To The Rescue

    There were two men shipwrecked on this island. The minute they got on to the island one…
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    Divy It Up

    Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her…
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    Today's Little Axioms

    1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.2. He who laughs last, thinks…
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    Restaurant Return

    An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an…
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    Johnny's Prayer

    Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and…
  • great dane

    A Dog Named Bear

    Friends of ours owned a huge Great Dane named "Bear." He looked menacing but was actually…
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    YMCA Innocence

    A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he…

*18 Things That Never Happened On Star Trek*

1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.

2. The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly all right.

3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works properly.

4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new life form, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life form wearing a funny hat.

5. The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick-bay.

6. The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.

7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.

8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.

9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.

10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.

11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some chocolate.

12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems.

13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.

14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century.

15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.

16. Counselor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.

17. The warp engines start going haywire, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.

18. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of one in three sentences that anyone says to him.

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