More Jokes

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    Fish Tattoo

    As an obstetrician, I sometimes see unusual tattoos when working in labor and delivery.…
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    You Know You're Growing Old When...

    You know you're growing old when... ..you've come to the annoying realization that your…
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    Window Savings

    A window salesman phoned a customer. "Hello, Mr. Brown," said the sales rep. "I'm calling…
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    Chicken Cannon

    TRUE STORY!!!! It Does Take a Rocket Scientist Scientists at NASA developed a gun…
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    Raise Refusal

    For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company.…
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    Important Political Decisions

    As a recent high-school graduate, I traveled to our state capitol and got to visit the…
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    Beware of Bread

    A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD."…
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    Perfect Pet

    A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do…
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    Never Too Old

    Two elderly gentlemen were visiting. "I guess you're never too old," the first one…
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    Vat A Country!

    Many years ago, my father was visiting America, from Europe, for the very first time. He…
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    Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

    10. "EEEEEKKK!!!!!!" 9. "Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!!…
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    Flight Booking

    After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the…
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    Revocation of Independence

    Remember when the US election took so long to decide back in November of 2000? Here's a…
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    Sheriff Vet

    The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang,…
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    Today's Little Axioms

    1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.2. He who laughs last, thinks…

*Elf Pet Peeves*

7. Toil for 364 days a year just to make children smile and no one gives a rip. Meanwhile, frolic around one day in some stupid outfit in February with a lousy bow and arrow and all of a sudden you're a hero.

6. Company health plan doesn't cover tattoo removal.

5. The EPA's new relaxed reindeer-emissions standards.

4. Icy cold North Pole temperature makes it hard to produce quality workmanship.

3. Reindeer game #12: Elf lacrosse.

2. Constantly ridiculed for that 0-854 record in the North Pole basketball league.

1. Jolly Ole Santa has never yet brought back a single cookie to share.

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