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    Birthday Heart Attack

    Realizing at the last minute that it was his father's birthday, a teenage boy rushed to…
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    Computer Customer Quotes

    "Computer Customer Quotes" or "Why goobers shouldn't own computers!" Customer: "I have…
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    Travelling Too Light

    A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in…
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    Red Light - Green Light

    Ralph and his friend were driving through town when they came to a red light. Cruising…
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    Honeymoon In England

    On a visit to my wife's native England for our honeymoon, we arrived at London's Gatwick…
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    A Man's Guide to What A Woman Is Saying

    I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. .... without you in it. DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? We haven't…
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    Tow Request

    The minister's car wouldn't start and so he called the garage to come and tow it in for…
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    Maid Mother

    For all their lives, my three sons have been told they have to do their chores around the…
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    The Place for Grace

    When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away."Johnny wait until we…
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    Career Choice

    A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows…
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    Cursing Parrot

    Jimmy received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad…
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    Got the Munchies?

    Mrs. Jones had been steadfast in her local congregation for many years and that is why…
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    Marriage Marathon

    With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the…
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    Boy Scout Tips

    A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert. "What are the…
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    Double Talking Dentist

    "Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient."Good…

*Elf Pet Peeves*

7. Toil for 364 days a year just to make children smile and no one gives a rip. Meanwhile, frolic around one day in some stupid outfit in February with a lousy bow and arrow and all of a sudden you're a hero.

6. Company health plan doesn't cover tattoo removal.

5. The EPA's new relaxed reindeer-emissions standards.

4. Icy cold North Pole temperature makes it hard to produce quality workmanship.

3. Reindeer game #12: Elf lacrosse.

2. Constantly ridiculed for that 0-854 record in the North Pole basketball league.

1. Jolly Ole Santa has never yet brought back a single cookie to share.

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