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More Jokes

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    Fine Request

    A pickpocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes. "Mr. Brewster," the…
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    Baby Talk

    What your baby would tell you if he could talk:1. I have my blankie, you have your…
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    Top Ten Signs You Might Have a Bad Furnace Repair Guy

    10. His face permanently blackened like a cartoon bomb went off 9. Pushes his personal…
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    Last One

    A New Mom took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time. She dressed her…
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    Aunt Emma

    A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the…
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    Singing Practice

    Joe's wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church choir. From time to time she…
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    Nice Boyfriend

    One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they…
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    Cats

    "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.""In a cat's eye, all things…
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    Second Try

    The insurance salesman, trying to start up a conversation with another fella said, "Who…
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    Civil War Re-enactment

    Thinking his son would enjoy seeing the re-enactment of a Civil War battle, my niece's…
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    SPCA Rescue

    "Hello, hello?" shrilled a spinsterish voice over the phone. "Is this the SPCA?""Yes.""I…
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    Hypo Teen

    Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was…
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    One Call

    The two teenagers were arrested. The police sergeant told them they were entitled to a…
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    Repair Call

    Bill was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly…
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    Married Witness

    An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered at him,…

*Elf Pet Peeves*

7. Toil for 364 days a year just to make children smile and no one gives a rip. Meanwhile, frolic around one day in some stupid outfit in February with a lousy bow and arrow and all of a sudden you're a hero.

6. Company health plan doesn't cover tattoo removal.

5. The EPA's new relaxed reindeer-emissions standards.

4. Icy cold North Pole temperature makes it hard to produce quality workmanship.

3. Reindeer game #12: Elf lacrosse.

2. Constantly ridiculed for that 0-854 record in the North Pole basketball league.

1. Jolly Ole Santa has never yet brought back a single cookie to share.

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