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More Jokes

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    Fly Problem

    My husband is a doctor, and he received an emergency call from a patient. She had a fly…
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    G.I. Excuses

    The General went out to find that none of his GIs were there. One finally ran up, panting…
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    Sweater Gifts

    Although we had recently moved into a new neighborhood, our young son had already made…
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    Wrong Chanel

    The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he'd like a bottle of…
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    Goober Doubling

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Toaster Request

    When my son was two or three and learning the ways of American life, he watched me place…
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    Hymns vs. Choruses

    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HYMNS AND PRAISE CHORUSES An old farmer went to the city one…
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    More Bulletin Bloopers

    *More Bulletin Bloopers*The youth group has raised almost $500 for drug…
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    Yale Educated

    (Wondering what a goober is? You can see one here.) The bank manager noticed the new…
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    Captain Discipline

    About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a…
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    Helping Daddy

    One day a young boy ran crying to his mother and rubbing his behind. His mother said,…
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    Bridge Over Troubled Waters

    There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks: Rufus and Clarence.…
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    Hair Mission

    In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a…
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    Stuffed Pockets

    A small boy stunned his parents after church one Sunday when he began to empty his…
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    Forgotten Watch

    A man is giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He gets a bit carried away and talks for…

Here's some comments taken from employee reviews.

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This person had delusions of adequacy."

"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."

"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."

"A room temperature IQ."

"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

"A prime candidate for natural deselection."

"One-cell organisms outscore him in IQ tests."

"Fell out of the family tree."

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

"He's so dense, light bends around him."

"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

"One neuron short of a synapse."

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