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More Jokes

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    Kiss Good-bye

    "Dad," a teenaged girl says, running into her father's den, "I'd like to kiss you…
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    Signs You Need A New Lawyer

    1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.2. He tells you that his…
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    Second Wave

    While the soldiers stood at attention during a parade, a private waved to someone in the…
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    Never Be Late

    A local priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A…
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    Housework Challenged

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.Seconds after he…
  • A joke about two hunters lost in the forest.

    Lost Goober Hunters

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. My uncle Joe and…
  • casserole

    Blessed Again

    A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say grace when he opened the…
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    Silent Descent

    Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance. "Teddy," he…
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    Confession

    A young girl once confessed to her priest that she thought she was guilty of the sin of…
  • flower geranium

    Geraniums

    A man walked into a flower shop and after looking around for several minutes, asked the…
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    Actual Hiker Comments

    These are actual comments left last year on Forest Service registration sheets and…
  • hat in_the_cold

    Tim Robbed

    One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Tim and the…
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    Walking on Water

    Bob, the goober, heard a rumor that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all…
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    Wild Game

    I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a…
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    One Man Team

    (Note: It's just a joke so change the name of the teams as it suits you.) The Redskins…

Here's some comments taken from employee reviews.

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This person had delusions of adequacy."

"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."

"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."

"A room temperature IQ."

"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

"A prime candidate for natural deselection."

"One-cell organisms outscore him in IQ tests."

"Fell out of the family tree."

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

"He's so dense, light bends around him."

"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

"One neuron short of a synapse."

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