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More Jokes

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    Noisy Neighbors

    A man was telling his friend about his upstairs neighbors. "They started to jump up and…
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    Returned E-mail

    The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for…
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    Grasshopper in Bar

    A grasshopper goes into a bar and hops on to a barstool to order a drink. The bartender…
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    Strange Lawsuits

    An inmate filed a $5 million lawsuit against himself (he claimed that he violated his own…
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    Weather Forecaster

    To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door…
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    Just A Kiss Per Yard

    Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy…
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    Insured Voice

    A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in…
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    Restroom Bugs

    I took my granddaughter to church camp for the first time last weekend. Behind the…
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    Tired Mom

    I had put in an 18-hour day at work and was upset to find my four-year-old Zack asleep in…
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    Religious Lady On Plane

    There was a religious lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so…
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    Coffee Pain

    Linda and Jill were chatting over coffee.Said Linda, "I've been experiencing a strange…
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    Ask Jeeves

    My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the…
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    ATM Correction

    My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community…
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    Geneology Question

    When my granddaughter, Ann, was 9-years-old, she was given an assignment by her teacher…
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    If You Love Someone

    Pessimist: If you love someone, Set her free ... if she ever comes back, she's yours, If…

Here's some comments taken from employee reviews.

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This person had delusions of adequacy."

"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."

"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."

"A room temperature IQ."

"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

"A prime candidate for natural deselection."

"One-cell organisms outscore him in IQ tests."

"Fell out of the family tree."

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

"He's so dense, light bends around him."

"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

"One neuron short of a synapse."

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