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More Jokes

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    English Time

    In my English-as-a-second-language class, I explained the difference between a watch and…
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    Bull Healing

    A farmer asked his vet to come out to check on his favorite bull who wasn't doing well at…
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    Hasty Departure

    A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given…
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    Abbott and Costello - Computer Version

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an…
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    Ah, Mozart

    A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The…
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    Where'd we get him?

    Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we…
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    Reading At Lunchtime

    A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench…
  • A funny joke about 2 men in their fancy cars.

    Bragging Rights

    A limousine had encountered a red traffic light and was waiting for it to change when a…
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    Johnny Hollers

    Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers out, "Okay everyone…
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    Doody Solution

    A little three-year-old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in…
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    Telephone Answering Ordeal

    A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she…
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    Pig Rescuer

    Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig…
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    Election Poetry

    In olden times, it could be decades before major events were cast in verse. But The Great…
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    Holding A Job

    A young man was a very slow worker and subsequently found it difficult to hold down a…
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    Swanky Dining

    The couple entered the resort's swanky dining room. "I'm sorry," apologized the Maitre d,…

Here's some comments taken from employee reviews.

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This person had delusions of adequacy."

"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."

"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."

"A room temperature IQ."

"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

"A prime candidate for natural deselection."

"One-cell organisms outscore him in IQ tests."

"Fell out of the family tree."

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

"He's so dense, light bends around him."

"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

"One neuron short of a synapse."

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