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More Jokes

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    The Night of Tax Day

    Twas the night of Tax Day, and all thru the house,Every creature was whirring, even the…
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    Who Gets the Dog?

    A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys,…
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    Dentist Bill

    A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained.…
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    Community Paper

    Glenelg, Maryland is such a small community, I was surprised that they had a community…
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    Question and Answer

    A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.On the paper…
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    Government Work

    You know you work for the government when:The process becomes more important than the…
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    Whale Speak

    An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made.…
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    Message Puzzle

    April was puzzled recently by the odd messages she kept getting on her voice mail. Day…
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    Wedding Album

    At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment of silence to remember…
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    Freedom

    The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to…
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    Mouth Surgery

    We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to…
  • If General Motors had a car help line

    Car Help Line

    General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because…
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    Chet's Graduation

    It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Chet. At the…
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    Roof Chicken

    One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto…
  • 50 percent

    Senate Comeback

    A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in…

Here's some comments taken from employee reviews.

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This person had delusions of adequacy."

"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."

"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."

"A room temperature IQ."

"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

"A prime candidate for natural deselection."

"One-cell organisms outscore him in IQ tests."

"Fell out of the family tree."

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

"He's so dense, light bends around him."

"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

"One neuron short of a synapse."

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