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More Jokes

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    Deli Tax Return

    The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had…
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    Cure For Lateness

    Bob had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work.…
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    GOLF, n.

    [1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad…
  • a picture of a high-heel-shoe

    Shoe Cover-Up

    One day a man drove his secretary home after she fell quite ill at work. Although this…
  • dog scotty

    Guard Dog Karate

    A young couple lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors had been robbed,…
  • picture of a turkey

    Thanksgiving Forecast

    Thanksgiving Forecast Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an…
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    Goober Widow

    A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer.…
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    Call to Principal

    The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school. "Hello, this is Dunn…
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    Latin Lesson

    "Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum, minutus carborata descendum pantorum."(A little song,…
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    1 in 5

    Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family,…
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    Beware of Bread

    A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD."…
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    The Magician and The Parrot

    A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different…
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    Fruit Cake Top Ten

    Top Ten Uses for Fruit Cake10. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table.9. Use…
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    How To Train A Cat

    Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of…
  • donut

    Second Grade Math

    I was the substitute teacher for a second-grade math class that was learning about…

Here's some comments taken from employee reviews.

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This person had delusions of adequacy."

"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."

"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching."

"A room temperature IQ."

"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

"A prime candidate for natural deselection."

"One-cell organisms outscore him in IQ tests."

"Fell out of the family tree."

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

"He's so dense, light bends around him."

"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

"One neuron short of a synapse."

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