logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Engineering Dictionary

*Engineering Dictionary*

What the Engineer says (What it really means)

A number of different approaches are being tried.

(We are still grasping at straws.)

We're working on a fresh approach to the problem.

(We just hired three kids fresh out of college.)

Close project coordination.

(We know who to blame.)

Major technological break through.

(It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.)

Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured.

(We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.)

Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive.

(The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.)

Test results were extremely gratifying.

(We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.)

The entire concept will have to be abandoned.

(The only person who understood the thing quit.)

It is in process.

(It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.)

We'll look into it.

(Forget it! We have enough problems for now.)

Please read and initial.

(Let's spread the responsibility for the mistake.)

Give us the benefit of your thoughts.

(We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.)

Give us your interpretation.

(I can't wait to hear this!)

See me, or Let's Discuss.

(Come into my office, I'm lonely.)

All new!

(Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.)

Rugged (Too heavy to lift!)

Lightweight (Lighter than rugged.)

Years of development (One finally worked.)

Energy saving (Achieved when the power switch is off.)

Low maintenance (Impossible to fix if broken.)

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Cheap Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6am wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke…
  • Default Image

    Politically Correct Statements

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
  • Default Image

    Efficient Breakfast

    The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to…
  • Default Image

    Chain Fired

    A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the…
  • car w driver2

    Permitted To Learn

    As an instructor in driver education at the local area High School, I've learned that…
  • Default Image

    Where's God?

    Two brothers in a small town were well-known as trouble makers. If there was a problem in…
  • Default Image

    Advertising Terms Explained

    *Advertising Terms Explained*NEW - Different color from previous design.ALL NEW - Parts…
  • Default Image

    Farewell Luncheon

    The staff at the office where my wife works was hosting a farewell luncheon for a…
  • Default Image

    English Errors

    English is such a tough language to master. There are more exceptions to the rules than…
  • doorbell

    Quit Bothering Us

    We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into our new house in town. Early the next…
  • Default Image

    Life and Death

    A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:"Remember, the first five minutes…
  • antique gas pumps

    Looking Funny

    According to statistics, last year over 17 million American families paid a lot of money…
  • Default Image

    New Flavor?

    The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you…
  • Default Image

    Best 'Out of Office' Automatic Email Replies

    1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to…
  • Default Image

    Transcribing Confusion

    We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came…