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    Academic Phrases and Meanings

    The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the…
  • Tight Shoes

    Shoe Fit

    A man walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the…
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    Engine Failure

    Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced,…
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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 3

    11. Subject: Children's Logic: Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a…
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    Go Get Grandma

    When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging…
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    Abstract Noun

    "An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch…
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    Flight Advice

    On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was…
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    Black Snake

    It was the first camping experience for Jed.As soon as he had pitched his tent, he went…
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    Knitting Chinese

    Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Tiger Woods is to golf. She designed exotic…
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    Letter Order

    Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Txes M&A Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the…
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    Sunday Compliment

    The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it…
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    Small Town Check

    I had just moved from an apartment to a house in the same small town. One day at the…
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    Valentine's Day

    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl…
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    Rich Guy

    One day a rich man drives pass a open field and he sees a guy standing there eating grass…
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    Vampire Bat

    A young vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood and perched…

My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair.

"As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils."

The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Very beautiful," he said politely. "Ivory."

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