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    Modern Tool Reality

    Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern…
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    Camping Privacy

    Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their…
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    Military Computer

    Officers at a military installation were being lectured about a new computer. The…
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    Passing Pain

    An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good…
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    Jury Excuse

    "Please, Your Honor, I'd like to be excused from jury duty," pleaded an anxious-looking…
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    Goober 911

    Q: Why can't goobers dial 911?A: They can't find the "11" on the phone!
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    $4,000 Hearing

    An elderly man inquired of his wife about a recent, large expense."Well yes I bought this…
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    Goober Golf Dispute

    Two goobers were starting a round of Golf together. On the first tee, the first guy…
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    Reading Glasses

    I took my 5 year old grandson to the optometrist to pick up his new glasses. The glasses…
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    Trip Tickets

    Mr. and Mrs. Frobisher had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the…
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    Bare Bones Moving

    The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping…
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    Buying Shoes

    A man walked into a shoe store, and tried on a pair of shoes."How do they feel?" asked…
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    Backwoods Labor

    In the back woods of Kentucky, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the…
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    Sign Fun

    *Sign Fun*On a California freeway: Fine for LitteringIn the window of an Atlanta clothing…
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    Bear Flight

    During Operation Desert Storm, I was a legislative affairs officer for Gen. Norman…

1.  One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

2.  One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

3.  Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

4.  The older you get, the better you realize you were.

5.  I doubt, therefore I might be.

6.  Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

7.  Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

8.  Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

9.  Men are from earth.  Women are from earth.  Deal with it.

10.  A fool and his money are soon partying.

11.  Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

12.  Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

13.  If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown also?

14.  If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

15.  If you ate pasta and then antipasta, would you still be hungry?

16.  If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

17.  Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

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