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More Jokes

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    Shott Versus Nott

    A duel was fought between Alexander Shott and John Nott. Nott was shot and Shott was not.…
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    Cutting Class

    "Jill," a teacher reprimanded the teenager in the hall, "do you mind telling me whose…
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    Funny Boss

    The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a…
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    Baby Growth

    Our first three babies, all girls, each weighed about seven pounds at birth. When our…
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    Handy Gadget

    After shopping at a busy store, another woman and I happened to leave at the same time,…
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    And Then They Voted

    While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was…
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    Good Robbery

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
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    Typing Test

    A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have…
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    Helping Sam at Church

    Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on…
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    Senior "Favorite Things"

    There are recent rumors that Julie Andrews did a concert for AARP (The American…
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    Sick At Church

    Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden vomit…
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    Cinnamon Rolls

    At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for my husband to comment on my first attempt at…
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    Bridge Fishing

    Two Goobers notice a couple of guys by a bridge.The one guy drops over the bridge being…
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    A Hi-Tech Litmus Test

    This morning, on the church newsletter were these instructions:Hold this paper close to…
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    Planning Ahead

    A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond…

1.  One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

2.  One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

3.  Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

4.  The older you get, the better you realize you were.

5.  I doubt, therefore I might be.

6.  Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

7.  Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

8.  Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

9.  Men are from earth.  Women are from earth.  Deal with it.

10.  A fool and his money are soon partying.

11.  Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

12.  Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

13.  If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown also?

14.  If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

15.  If you ate pasta and then antipasta, would you still be hungry?

16.  If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

17.  Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

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