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    Waiting for Dark

    Preparing for a family vacation, Kathy and Matt explained to their young children that…
  • picture of a bumper sticker on a guitar

    More Bumper Stickers

    * FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software. * I can't dial 911.…
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    If They Had a Doting Mother

    *If They Had a Doting Mother* MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I…
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    Goober Jokes Galore!

    What do you call an eternity? Four Goobers in four cars at a four way stop. Why do…
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    Carpenter Request

    While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself…
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    Can You See Me?

    I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually-impaired adults. Many…
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    Goober Painter

    Julie, the goober, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the…
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    Medical Fraud

    The police recently busted a man selling 'secret formula' tablets he claimed gave eternal…
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    Carried Away Shopping

    In a shop, two men struck up a conversation. Just as one fellow said that his wife was…
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    Empty Nest Craft

    I am a first-grade teacher and a new empty-nester. One night I was trying out an art…
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    ATM Correction

    My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community…
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    Haircut

    Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.Susie: It grew on company time.Boss: Not all…
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    Offended Goober

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Marriage Proposal

    Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well. One instructor…
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    Perley Moore Buys a Truck

    There was a farmer, Perley Moore, who had recently bought a truck and found that the…

1.  One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

2.  One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

3.  Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

4.  The older you get, the better you realize you were.

5.  I doubt, therefore I might be.

6.  Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

7.  Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

8.  Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

9.  Men are from earth.  Women are from earth.  Deal with it.

10.  A fool and his money are soon partying.

11.  Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

12.  Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

13.  If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown also?

14.  If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

15.  If you ate pasta and then antipasta, would you still be hungry?

16.  If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

17.  Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

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