logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Circle Stand

    Ron just got a new sports car and was out for a drive when he cut off a truck driver. The…
  • Default Image

    School Notes

    The following notes from parents excusing their children from attending school have been…
  • Default Image

    Mouth Surgery

    We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to…
  • Default Image

    Dead Faint

    The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.…
  • Default Image

    Hunting Pairs

    A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one…
  • Default Image

    If You Go, I'll Go

    A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he…
  • Default Image

    Apology

    Customer at a counter of a lawn ornament shop:"Give me four of those pinwheels, two of…
  • Default Image

    You've Had Too Much Coffee When

    You've had too much coffee when: 1. You ski uphill. 2. You get a speeding ticket even…
  • Default Image

    Family Dinner

    Family dinner was an enjoyable weekly ritual for us. Although my Mother was in her late…
  • Default Image

    W-a-i-t-i-n-g

    The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was…
  • Default Image

    Fuel Trudge

    After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it…
  • Default Image

    Bad News From The Doctor

    A man hadn't been feeling well at all, so he went to his doctor for a complete check-up.…
  • Default Image

    Sunday Compliment

    The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it…
  • Default Image

    The War of the Navels

    The War of the Navels People have navels of different kinds,Ineys and outeys, to that…
  • Default Image

    Family Loop

    Many, many years agoWhen I was twenty three,I got married to a widow,Pretty as could be.…

From the Dog.

Day number 180

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

From the Cat.

Day 283 Of My Captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…

Powered By JFBConnect