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    New Computer Viruses You Should Know About

    *New Computer Viruses You Should Know About* THE LIBERAL VIRUS Before deleting all your…
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    Why Parents Go Gray

    The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem…
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    Army Nurse Training

    During basic training for the Army Nurse Corps, we were required to spend one week in the…
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    Knee Tattoo

    A hospital corpsman and I were getting an elderly retired master chief petty officer out…
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    Heredity

    Father, Mother and their 3 sons, John (the oldest), Mike (middle) and Steve (youngest)…
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    Better Grades

    The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite…
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    Proposal Reaction

    A young man confided to his mother that he had proposed to his girlfriend and they were…
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    Johnny's Home

    After the dedication service of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the…
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    Young Love

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    Eggsacting Solution

    A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The…
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    Found Cell Phone

    When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers,…
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    If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals

    If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very…
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    The Internet Pledge

    Are you BRAVE enough to take the Internet pledge!!1) I will have a cup of coffee in the…
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    Perfect Mate

    At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to…
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    Letters of Recommendation

    If you have to write a "letter of recommendation" for a fired employee, here are a few…

man headphones~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Okay?

~ I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet...

~ I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.

~ Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.

~ I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

~ The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I'm startled.

~ The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

~ I prefer to remain an enigma.

~ I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

~ I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

~ I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.

~ I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.

~ I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead!

~ I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.

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