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More Jokes

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    GOLF, n.

    [1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad…
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    Taps System

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    I Think Not

    I do not think -- therefore I am not.Here is the illustration of this principle:One…
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    ACTS 2:38

    This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he…
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    Enemies in the West

    A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting."How are we…
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    Bar Room Houdini

    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance"…
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    Goober Guide to Household tools

    A goober's guide to household tools: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it…
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    Goober Ring

    Passing an office building late one night, a Goober saw a sign that said, "Press bell for…
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    Muddy General

    During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered…
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    You've Had Too Much Coffee When

    You've had too much coffee when: 1. You ski uphill. 2. You get a speeding ticket even…
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    There's Teacher

    The children had all been photographed for school pictures, and the teacher was trying to…
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    Dads

    My mother and I returned to my parents' house late one evening to find my father, my…
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    Wilderness Guide

    "We pass this way but once," we have heard it said. But my wife has learned that, unless…
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    Lost in the Woods

    Two hunters got lost in the woods. The first hunter said, "Don't worry. All we have to do…
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    Hot Fishing Spot

    Two goobers go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore. 1st goober: I…

Three mothers were sitting around comparing notes on their exemplary offspring.

"There never was a daughter more devoted than my Alice," said Mrs. Davis with a sniff. "Every summer she takes me to the Catskills for a week, and every winter we spend a week at Delray Beach."

"That's nothing compared to what my Anna does for me," declared Mrs. Jones proudly. "Every winter she treats me to two weeks in Miami, and in the summer two weeks in the Hamptons, in my own private guest house."

Mrs. Smith sat back with a proud smile. "Nobody loves her mother like my Jackie does. Nobody."

"So what does she do?" asked the two women, turning to her.

"Three times a week she gets into a cab, goes to the best psychiatrist in the city, and pays him a hundred and fifty dollars an hour just to talk about me!"

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