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More Jokes

  • car old

    Battery Life

    An angry motorist went back to a garage where he had purchased an expensive battery for…
  • Tourist asks cabbie if Israel is really a healthy country.

    Healthy Tourism

    Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Israel. In an airport taxi cab, Peterson…
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    More Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement

    To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible! Anyone that flirts…
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    Vulgar Parrot

    So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a…
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    Time To Wave

    From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting…
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    Vacation Location

    A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location. "It's only a stone's throw…
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    Project Picture

    My 12 year old daughter asked me, "Mom, do you have a baby picture of yourself? I need it…
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    Hiccup Cure

    A man entered a drug store and asked to see the pharmacist. When the pharmacist came out,…
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    Goodwill Offering

    During the last Sunday service that the visiting pastor was to spend at the church he…
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    Isn't Aging Fun?

    Do you realize that the only time in our liveswhen we like to get old is when we're…
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    Driving Flash

    A man was driving down the road. He passed a traffic camera and saw it flash.Astounded…
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    Cats

    "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.""In a cat's eye, all things…
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    Merchant Captain

    One of the world's most famous merchant captains died, having long been admired by his…
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    Cowboy Joe goes to Church

    Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a…
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    Career Change

    When Ruthie's grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor…

- I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

- I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

- The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

- If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

- Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

- My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where on earth she is.

- The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

- I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

- And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

- You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!

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