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More Jokes

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    Car Sale

    Judi tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the…
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    Cheap Suit

    The fellow was being sold a very cheap suit. "But the left arm is a lot longer than the…
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    Freeway Repair

    An off-ramp of a freeway in Long Beach, CA, has been torn up for years.Recently, someone…
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    Understanding Your Paycheck

    Gross pay: $1222.02 Income Tax Outgo Tax State Tax Interstate Tax244.40 45.21 61.10 5.89…
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    A Simple Explanation of Baseball

    This is a game played by two teams, one out the other in. The one that's in, sends…
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    A Dog's Diary

    5:30am: Started the day as a hero! When the sound of the newspaper hitting the driveway…
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    Waiting at the Door

    I was hospitalized for a few days, and my wife reported that my dog really missed me.…
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    Moving In Motivation

    My engineer husband is meticulous but mild-mannered. While our new house was being built,…
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    Coin Test

    During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids.…
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    Men's Thesaurus

    "IT'S A GUY THING"Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,…
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    Wimpy Dad

    One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into…
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    Flight Booking

    After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the…
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    Golf Friendless

    "Bob, why don't you play golf with John anymore?" asked a friend."Would you play golf…
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    Pig Rescuer

    Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig…
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    The Confused Goober

    The confused goober: 1. Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight. 2.…

- I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

- I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

- The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

- If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

- Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

- My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where on earth she is.

- The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

- I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

- And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

- You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!

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