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More Jokes

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    Read Carefully

    My family physician told me of an incident that actually happened to him back in the…
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    Bedtime Suggestion

    I'd had a pretty hectic day with my four-year-old. When bed-time finally came, I laid…
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    Political Correctness For Kids

    *Political Correctness For Kids*Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's…
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    Military Chat

    During the second Gulf War, I was an Air Force colonel. I routinely flew on different…
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    Orchestra Note

    While a famous orchestra was on tour, the conductor found this note under his hotel room…
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    Top Ten things Men Understand about Women

    1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10. Just smile and pass it on!
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    Coast Guard Lingo

    When my husband joined the Coast Guard, I knew there would be some adjustments. Not only…
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    Cheap Loan

    Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York…
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    Cave Soliciting

    Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing.…
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    Supermarket Saavy

    One day my brother-in-law noticed an elderly lady slowly pushing a cart through the…
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    Doctor's Writing

    Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor's…
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    That's the Way . . .

    Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put…
  • thermometer

    How Cold is it?

    An annotated thermometer: (degrees Fahrenheit, then Celsius) +50 / +10* New York tenants…
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    Learn Those Numbers

    The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers. "Yes," he said. "I…
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    Dog Errand

    A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away.…

- I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

- I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

- The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

- If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

- Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

- My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where on earth she is.

- The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

- I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

- And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

- You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!

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