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More Jokes

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    Friendly Golf

    Two friends were beginning a game of golf.The first man stepped up to the tee, hit the…
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    Job Search Woe

    Catherine, a RN, was unhappy with her job, so she submitted her resignation. She was sure…
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    Pig Call

    A church secretary takes a call. The caller says ,"Is the head hog at the trough…
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    Bank Call

    One of my jobs at a bank is to answer the phones and put callers through to the right…
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    More Bumper Stickers

    * FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software. * I can't dial 911.…
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    Social Showdown

    Two older women, Coleen and Melinda, who were rivals in a social circle met at a…
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    Science Quotes from Kids - Part 2

    ~ H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.~ To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon…
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    Cheap Suit

    The fellow was being sold a very cheap suit. "But the left arm is a lot longer than the…
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    CD Generation

    After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs, she was excited to discover…
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    Simple Operation

    A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's…
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    --- WARNING, DANGER! ---

    --- WARNING, DANGER! --- I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering…
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    Goober Motivation

    One day a goober was hiking up to an old camp. There was an outhouse along the way, so he…
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    Chewed Out

    My wife chewed me out at the company picnic a while back. "Doesn't it embarrass you that…
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    Career Change

    When Ruthie's grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor…
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    Busy Mom

    My busy mother sometimes accidentally left pots and pans on the stove with the burners…

- I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

- I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

- The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

- If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

- Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

- My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where on earth she is.

- The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

- I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

- And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

- You could run this over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!

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