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    A Brother Names the Babies

    A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C., (whose husband was out of the country) gets in a…
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    Black Canyon Biker

    A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got…
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    Punctuation

    A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.…
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    Hymns For Professionals

    DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS:…
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    Kids Say the Darndest Things

    Kids say the darnedest things. Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because…
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    Strangest Dream

    "I had the strangest dream last night," a man was telling his psychiatrist."I saw my…
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    Golf Discovery

    A wife was getting tired of her husband golfing every Saturday, so she decided to go with…
  • The Seniors' Serenity Prayer

    Serenity for Seniors

    God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to…
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    Missing Church

    Two men were fishing on a lake, feeling guilty that it was a Sunday morning, that they…
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    Dieting Buddies

    Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on…
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    Instrument Test

    I'm a middle school band teacher, and I match students to instruments by testing them on…
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    Melanie is Watching

    One day while driving with my then 4 year old daughter Melanie, I beeped the horn by…
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    Dumb Sports Quotes

    Dumb Sports Quotes *"And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a…
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    You Know You Are From Arizona When

    You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.You can endure 110 degrees without…
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    Judge's Watch

    A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as…

A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend. "You see," he explained, "my wife is expecting."

"Oh..." said the Officer, "I understand. Go ahead and tell your wife that I wish her luck."

The following week the same soldier was back again with the same explanation: "My wife's expecting."

The Officer looked surprised. "Still expecting?" he said, "Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the weekend off.

"When the same soldier appeared again the third week, however, the Officer lost his temper. "Don't tell me your wife is still expecting!" he bellowed.

"Yes sir!" said the soldier resolutely, "She`s still expecting." "What on earth is she expecting?" cried the Officer.

"Me." said the soldier simply.

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