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    Understanding the Metric System

    1 million microphones = 1 megaphone1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles2000 mockingbirds = 2…
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    Songs, Jokes, Sad Stories

    Three men worked in the Empire State Building on the 102nd floor.One day the elevator was…
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    Ring Appraisal

    An acquaintance of mine whose daughter was about to be married decided to give her a…
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    Enjoyment of Food

    Old Abraham was a poor tailor whose shop was next door to a very upscale French…
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    Good Old Days

    Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in…
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    Quarter Back

    Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters? Nurse:…
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    Ticketing Mom?

    Thanks to Kathy Edwards for submitting this true story. She wrote, "Pastor Tim, This…
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    Mess Sign

    A sign posted on the wall of an Army mess read, "Don't Waste Food -- Food will win the…
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    Check The Mirror

    Harry was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after…
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    Quiz Query

    My daughter's 5th-grade class had been studying astronomy.One morning at breakfast she…
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    Mouse Trap

    A woman rushes into a hardware store and said, "Can I have a mouse trap, please? And will…
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    Finally

    A man was sleeping when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is breaking in!"…
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    Horse Talk

    "Well, I reckon you've been a pretty good horse," said the farmer. "You work hard and I…
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    The Internet Pledge

    Are you BRAVE enough to take the Internet pledge!!1) I will have a cup of coffee in the…
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    Fast Driver

    My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we…

I recall a story my father used to tell about a pastor who had been at a church for 20 years. To show their appreciation for all his years of faithful service, the congregation decided to collect an offering and buy him a new car. So on the Sunday of his anniversary they had a special reception in honor of the pastor and his wife.

Lots of visitors come in for the occasion. Near the end of the reception, the chairman of the deacons got up and presented the keys to a brand new Lincoln Town Car to the pastor. The pastor was so overwhelmed he really did not know what to say.

After taking a few moments to collect himself, he addressed the congregation and emotionally stammered, "I just want you to know that I really do not appreciate this, but I sure do deserve it."

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