A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you *idiot*!" the man shouts. "This is her *husband*!"
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More Jokes
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Getting Younger
Old Sam Johnson goes to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body.… -
Lost Ticket
Albert Einstein was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on… -
First Job Hunting
Recently, our 18-year-old daughter started hunting for her first real job. She spent an… -
You're Not a Kid Anymore When
You're not a kid anymore when ...* The only reason you're awake at 4 a.m. is… -
Boss Prepared
As salesman was assigned to secure an important client but failed in his mission.He faxed… -
Pilgrim Church
Thanksgiving day was approaching, and the family received a Thanksgiving card with a… -
Updated Punishment
"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was… -
Correct Response
While in an instrument flight-training class at Reese Air Force Base, Texas, I dozed off… -
Confession
A young girl once confessed to her priest that she thought she was guilty of the sin of… -
Inferior Bags
It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large… -
Arrangements
It was a difficult subject to bring before his aged mother, but John felt that he must:… -
Fate
A young pupil asked, "Master, what is fate.""Ah, my son, it is what has brought great… -
Burning Call
A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is… -
Tailing Truck
A large truck was tailing my son as he drove through town with his girlfriend. The truck… -
Muffin Moving
After living in our house for four years, we were moving out of state. My husband had…
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