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    Nervous Bride

    Apparently this is a true story. A woman in her forties got married but was bit nervous…
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    Exercise Classes

    I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.If I *had*…
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    Future Son In Law?

    Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
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    Ball Markers

    A Golfer walks into the pro shop at the local course and asks the golf pro if they sell…
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    Remember The Elderly

    The following is a letter received by a pastor from an 86 year old lady. The lady…
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    Flying Blind

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
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    Finding The Cat's Diary

    Day 752 - My captors continue to haunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine…
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    Haircut Plan

    I was getting my hair cut at a neighborhood shop, and I asked the barber when would be…
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    Helping Sam at Church

    Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on…
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    Mom's Clarinet

    My Dad bought my Mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was…
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    Disappearing Dinosaurs

    Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable…
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    Signs You May Be Canadian

    SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE CANADIAN 1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You…
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    Farmer Joe & Bessie

    Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the…
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    Murphy’s Laws of Parenting

    - The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning. - The…
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    Lose the Cat

    A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from…

Day 752 - My captors continue to haunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.  The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Day 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs.  In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...  must try this on their bed.

Day 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep deprivation: incessant pleas for food at all hours of the night.

Day 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.  They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...  hmmm, must try this with their dog.

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