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    GOLF, n.

    [1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad…
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    Battling Salons

    A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established…
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    Biblical Endorsements

    What if Biblical characters could be recruited as product endorsers? For Match.com -…
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    Murphy’s Laws of Parenting

    - The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning. - The…
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    Animal Thoughts

    Dog: "They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl." Goldfish: "Just because I…
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    Refined Shopping

    A very refined young man comes to a small food shop and sees fruit. "Give me two…
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    Happy Eggs

    One Sunday morning, while stationed at Osan Air Base in South Korea, I was in line for…
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    Setting The Table

    Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped set the table when company was due for…
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    Computer Acronyms

    For those computer literate souls out there: ISDN - It Still Does Nothing APPLE -…
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    Testimony Night

    It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked…
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    Proud Grandmother

    An elderly, wealthy woman in Florida was boring fellow beachcombers as she bragged on and…
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    Gifts for Men

    Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules…
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    Never Be Late

    A local priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A…
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    Spelling Information

    "Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company.""Would you spell that,…
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    First Apartment

    Having moved into his first apartment, our son invited my husband and me for a visit. As…

Morris had been playing golf for years, and he had the finest equipment, but his technique never improved a bit.

As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods.

"Why don't you use an old ball?" his friend Sam asked.

"I've never had an old ball," Morris said.

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