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More Jokes

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    Signs Found In The Kitchen

    So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust! Martha Stewart doesn't live here!! Ring bell…
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    Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

    One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog…
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    12 Reasons to be Thankful You Burned the Turkey

    1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened.…
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    Play Quietly

    Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or maybe it was Neil McNell from Barra, but…
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    Dryer Message

    As a lobbyist in Washington, DC, I'd just finished up a meeting with a Congressman when I…
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    Dial A Prayer Twist

    They have a Dial-a-Prayer for atheists now. You can call up and it rings and rings but…
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    Stern Announcement

    During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and…
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    Tried and Trusted

    A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to…
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    Golf Cheater

    Sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Joe said to a fellow club member, "I'm…
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    Verbalized Prayers

    The pastor of a mid-sized church decided one Monday morning that the staff would…
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    Lost Over Washington State

    A helicopter was flying around above Washington State yesterday when an electrical…
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    What Doctors are Thinking

    What doctors say, and what they're really thinking: "This should be taken care of right…
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    Songs, Jokes, Sad Stories

    Three men worked in the Empire State Building on the 102nd floor.One day the elevator was…
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    Coverup Catch

    This guy had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without…
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    Family Picnic

    The service area was located on a main highway leading to the beach. The pump attendant…

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs.  She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

As You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You...  Mess It Up.

Better Be Safe Than...  Punch A 5th Grader.

Strike While The...  Bug Is Close.

It's Always Darkest Before...  Daylight Savings Time.

Never Under Estimate The Power Of...  Termites.

You Can Lead A Horse To Water But..  How?

Don't Bite The Hand That...  Looks Dirty.

No News Is...  Impossible.

A Miss Is As Good As A...  Mr.

You Can't Teach An Old Dog New...  Math.

If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll...  Stink In The Morning.

Love All, Trust..  Me The Pen Is Mightier Than The...  Pigs.

An Idle Mind Is...  The Best Way To Relax.

Where There's Smoke, There's...  Pollution.

Happy The Bride Who...  Gets All The Presents!

A Penny Saved Is...  Not Much.

Two's Company, Three's...  The Musketeers.

Don't Put Off Tomorrow What...  You Put On To Go To Bed.

Laugh And The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry And...  You Have To Blow Your Nose.

None Are So Blind As...  Helen Keller.

Children Should Be Seen And Not...  Spanked Or Grounded.

If At First You Don't Succeed...  Get New Batteries.

You Get Out Of Something What You...  See Pictured On The Box.

When The Blind Leadeth The Blind...  Get Out Of The Way.

There Is No Fool Like...  Aunt Eddie.

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