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More Jokes

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    One-liners

    1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.2. Make yourself at home! Clean my…
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    A Dollar Per Point

    A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests…
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    Day of Thanksgiving

    And after all is said and done.....the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the…
  • couple elderly

    I'm Dead

    A husband and wife, both getting on in years, are in bed one morning. He takes her hand,…
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    More Strange Warnings

    Here are some more strange warnings on items.On a packet of juggling balls:"This product…
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    Robbie's Move

    Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new…
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    ESP Banking

    Tired of having to balance his wife Cindy's checkbook, Mike made a deal with her; he…
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    Dogs

    ** If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket then…
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    Gift Diamonds

    Morris ran into Jacob while shopping at the mall the other day in front of one of the…
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    What "Guy" Phrases Really Mean

    "I'm going fishing."really means..."I'm going to go and stand by a stream with a stick in…
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    Get Better Soon

    A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to…
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    Gladys Pun

    There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on…
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    Cry On for Crayons

    The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the…
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    More Church Bulletin Humor

    *More Church Bulletin Humor* Sermon Outline:I. Delineate your fearII. Disown your…
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    Counting the Days

    A fellow cop from our precinct had only a few months left on the job, and he could always…

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs.  She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

As You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You...  Mess It Up.

Better Be Safe Than...  Punch A 5th Grader.

Strike While The...  Bug Is Close.

It's Always Darkest Before...  Daylight Savings Time.

Never Under Estimate The Power Of...  Termites.

You Can Lead A Horse To Water But..  How?

Don't Bite The Hand That...  Looks Dirty.

No News Is...  Impossible.

A Miss Is As Good As A...  Mr.

You Can't Teach An Old Dog New...  Math.

If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll...  Stink In The Morning.

Love All, Trust..  Me The Pen Is Mightier Than The...  Pigs.

An Idle Mind Is...  The Best Way To Relax.

Where There's Smoke, There's...  Pollution.

Happy The Bride Who...  Gets All The Presents!

A Penny Saved Is...  Not Much.

Two's Company, Three's...  The Musketeers.

Don't Put Off Tomorrow What...  You Put On To Go To Bed.

Laugh And The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry And...  You Have To Blow Your Nose.

None Are So Blind As...  Helen Keller.

Children Should Be Seen And Not...  Spanked Or Grounded.

If At First You Don't Succeed...  Get New Batteries.

You Get Out Of Something What You...  See Pictured On The Box.

When The Blind Leadeth The Blind...  Get Out Of The Way.

There Is No Fool Like...  Aunt Eddie.

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