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    Political Faith

    Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate…
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    Exercise Program

    Here is an exercise program for those of us whose wisdom exceeds our ambition. The doctor…
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    Where did I come from?

    One day our Little niece Rita went up to her mother and asked, "Mom, where did I come…
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    Trio of Puns

    Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous…
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    Approval Letter

    After trying a new shampoo for the first time, Dewey mailed off an enthusiastic letter of…
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    Johnny's F

    Little Johnny stared at his test paper. The big read "F" stared back at him. Freddie…
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    Out of This World Bait

    My daughter-in-law Alma and grandson Eddy were digging for fishing bait in my garden.…
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    Proposal Reaction

    A young man confided to his mother that he had proposed to his girlfriend and they were…
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    Let Us Know

    The following advertisement appeared in a physical culture magazine:"Here's a good test…
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    Sick At Church

    Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden vomit…
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    Smart Chauffer

    When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found…
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    Baby Talk

    What your baby would tell you if he could talk:1. I have my blankie, you have your…
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    Toy Advice

    A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional…
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    Self-Evident Truths about Pets

    * Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many…
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    Elderly Couple Sharing

    A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that…

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs.  She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

As You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You...  Mess It Up.

Better Be Safe Than...  Punch A 5th Grader.

Strike While The...  Bug Is Close.

It's Always Darkest Before...  Daylight Savings Time.

Never Under Estimate The Power Of...  Termites.

You Can Lead A Horse To Water But..  How?

Don't Bite The Hand That...  Looks Dirty.

No News Is...  Impossible.

A Miss Is As Good As A...  Mr.

You Can't Teach An Old Dog New...  Math.

If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll...  Stink In The Morning.

Love All, Trust..  Me The Pen Is Mightier Than The...  Pigs.

An Idle Mind Is...  The Best Way To Relax.

Where There's Smoke, There's...  Pollution.

Happy The Bride Who...  Gets All The Presents!

A Penny Saved Is...  Not Much.

Two's Company, Three's...  The Musketeers.

Don't Put Off Tomorrow What...  You Put On To Go To Bed.

Laugh And The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry And...  You Have To Blow Your Nose.

None Are So Blind As...  Helen Keller.

Children Should Be Seen And Not...  Spanked Or Grounded.

If At First You Don't Succeed...  Get New Batteries.

You Get Out Of Something What You...  See Pictured On The Box.

When The Blind Leadeth The Blind...  Get Out Of The Way.

There Is No Fool Like...  Aunt Eddie.

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