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More Jokes

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    Goober Nails

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Frazzled Doctor

    As soon as I stepped into the urgent-care facility in my hometown, I could see the place…
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    The War of the Navels

    The War of the Navels People have navels of different kinds,Ineys and outeys, to that…
  • spray can

    Read The Label

    It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised…
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    Mom's Special Brownies

    "Mom's Special Brownies"Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.Melt 1 cup…
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    Thank You Cards

    My first stop on my vacation was my sister's house in Montana. She's extremely organized.…
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    Dads and Babies

    My two daughters were having a discussion about family resemblance. "I look like Mom,"…
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    Grasping Challenge

    When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept…
  • snowman

    Learning From Snowmen

    "All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman.... " It's okay if you're a…
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    Jasper and the Unbaked Yeast Rolls

    We have a fox terrier by the name of Jasper. He came to us in the summer of 2001 from the…
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    Dad and Surgeon

    This older man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,…
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    Smuggler Prosecution

    My boss is without peer when it comes to the rules and regulations that customs officials…
  • police dog

    Police Dog Freeze

    A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff's department canine unit. One evening, the…
  • computer keyboard

    Out-of-Office Replies

    I don't know about you, but I find those "Out-of-the-Office" e-mail auto-replies very…
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    Real 911 Calls

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots…

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs.  She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.

As You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You...  Mess It Up.

Better Be Safe Than...  Punch A 5th Grader.

Strike While The...  Bug Is Close.

It's Always Darkest Before...  Daylight Savings Time.

Never Under Estimate The Power Of...  Termites.

You Can Lead A Horse To Water But..  How?

Don't Bite The Hand That...  Looks Dirty.

No News Is...  Impossible.

A Miss Is As Good As A...  Mr.

You Can't Teach An Old Dog New...  Math.

If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll...  Stink In The Morning.

Love All, Trust..  Me The Pen Is Mightier Than The...  Pigs.

An Idle Mind Is...  The Best Way To Relax.

Where There's Smoke, There's...  Pollution.

Happy The Bride Who...  Gets All The Presents!

A Penny Saved Is...  Not Much.

Two's Company, Three's...  The Musketeers.

Don't Put Off Tomorrow What...  You Put On To Go To Bed.

Laugh And The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry And...  You Have To Blow Your Nose.

None Are So Blind As...  Helen Keller.

Children Should Be Seen And Not...  Spanked Or Grounded.

If At First You Don't Succeed...  Get New Batteries.

You Get Out Of Something What You...  See Pictured On The Box.

When The Blind Leadeth The Blind...  Get Out Of The Way.

There Is No Fool Like...  Aunt Eddie.

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