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    Note From Judge

    During court one busy day, the judge quietly passed the clerk a note reading: "Blind on…
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    Misquote

    A friend of mine attended a Christian college where the tradition was to deliver a box of…
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    Shakey's Cure

    Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I`ve got trouble. Every time I get into…
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    Talking Dog

    A guy is driving around Wadsworth, Ohio and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking…
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    Ode To Finals Week

    Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,The students were praying for…
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    Scared Smart

    As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night-time exercises. Once,…
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    Duelling Barbers

    A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established…
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    One Man Team

    (Note: It's just a joke so change the name of the teams as it suits you.) The Redskins…
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    Price Reduction

    Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per…
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    Texas Cruise

    A Texas rancher, visiting a South Dakota farmer friend, asked him to show him his…
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    Rattlesnakes

    Felix, my husband, was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into…
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    Tongue and Eggs

    A fellow went into a restaurant and asked, 'What's the special of the day?' The waiter…
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    Government Work

    You know you work for the government when:The process becomes more important than the…
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    No Frills Airlines

    ...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances. ...all the insurance machines in the…
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    Signs You Are Broke

    1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!" 2. Your idea of a 7-course…

A man goes skydiving for the first time.

After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go.  Excited, he jumps out of the plane.  After a bit, he pulls the ripcord.

Nothing happens. 

He tries again.  Still nothing.  He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute.  He pulls that cord.  Nothing happens.  He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail.

Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes.  Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going *up*!  Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver -- by this time scared out of his wits -- yells, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?"

The other guy yells back, "No!  Do you know anything about gas stoves?"

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