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  • tools

    Home Mechanic Tools

    Home Mechanics Tools and their usage: HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the…
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    Morning Pills

    This morning, before I had my first cup of coffee and chased the cob webs from my brain,…
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    Spelling Code

    A client called to report an accident and ask if her insurance rates would go up."Our…
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    Ah, Mozart

    A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The…
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    Gender Smarts

    Diamonds are a girl's best friend.Dogs are a man's best friend.Now you know which gender…
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    Lost In The Translation

    Two diners at a very swanky eatery were shocked to see on the menu a dish of…
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    Golfing Seniors

    "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty…
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    The 3 stages of man

    The 3 stages of man:He believes in Santa Claus.He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.He is…
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    Fish Tattoo

    As an obstetrician, I sometimes see unusual tattoos when working in labor and delivery.…
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    Flight Control Software

    At a recent computer software engineering course in the US, the participants were given…
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    Goober Hunters Flying

    Two Goober hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were…
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    Psychology Course

    During a phone conversation, my nephew mentioned that he was taking a psychology course…
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    Letter From Mom

    When the man came home, his wife was crying. "Your mother insulted me," she sobbed. "My…
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    Community Paper

    Glenelg, Maryland is such a small community, I was surprised that they had a community…
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    Thesaurus Collision

    Two trucks loaded with a thousand copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a New…

A man goes skydiving for the first time.

After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go.  Excited, he jumps out of the plane.  After a bit, he pulls the ripcord.

Nothing happens. 

He tries again.  Still nothing.  He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute.  He pulls that cord.  Nothing happens.  He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail.

Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes.  Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going *up*!  Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver -- by this time scared out of his wits -- yells, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?"

The other guy yells back, "No!  Do you know anything about gas stoves?"

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