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  • house brick

    House Points

    "This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad…
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    Feeding Shamu

    At Sea World, our grandson absolutely refused to see the show featuring Shamu the killer…
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    Pastors' Good News/Bad News

    Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.Bad News: You lost two of them in…
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    W-a-i-t-i-n-g

    The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was…
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    Fearless Leader

    As a professor at Texas A & M, I taught during the day and did research at night. I would…
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    Milk Switch

    To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods,…
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    Novice Immerser

    The young son of a Baptist minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first…
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    Boat 99

    At a boat-rental concession, the manager went to the lake's edge and yelled through his…
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    Third Grade Assignment

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…
  • prisoner

    Number Eighteen

    A first-time prisoner is placed in his cell with a cellmate. Before long it is time for…
  • store sign

    Good Robbery

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
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    Rental Description

    On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver…
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    Wake Up Call

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke…
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    More Bad Headlines

    ~ March Planned For Next August ~ Blind Bishop Appointed To See ~ Lingerie Shipment…
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    Special Delivery

    It was 6 p.m., and I was about to leave the coin laundry where I was employed. My boss…

A man goes skydiving for the first time.

After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go.  Excited, he jumps out of the plane.  After a bit, he pulls the ripcord.

Nothing happens. 

He tries again.  Still nothing.  He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute.  He pulls that cord.  Nothing happens.  He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail.

Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes.  Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going *up*!  Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver -- by this time scared out of his wits -- yells, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?"

The other guy yells back, "No!  Do you know anything about gas stoves?"

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