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More Jokes

  • picture of a thanksgiving turkey

    Turkey Size

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one…
  • nuts

    Got the Munchies?

    Mrs. Jones had been steadfast in her local congregation for many years and that is why…
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    The Lord's Prayer - Sort of

    A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at…
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    Grandma Thanks

    A grandmother was headed out the door to go to church one Sunday when she got a call from…
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    Bob Hope Quotes

    Some memorable quotes from Bob Hope:ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only…
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    Beef Prices

    It's a summer holiday weekend and a man walks into a butcher shop which has a sign in the…
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    Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

    One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog…
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    Great Eyesight

    An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defence lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see…
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    Reasons Not To Wash

    If you took the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to…
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    If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer

    If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!To get…
  • speech bubble

    Famous Last Words

    *Famous Last Words* *Ha! They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist... *Don't unplug it,…
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    Rolls-Royce Loaner

    When I arrived at a friend's home for a party, my old rattletrap looked pretty shabby…
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    Mr. Scwartz

    Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit school and work to help…
  • empire state building

    Songs, Jokes, Sad Stories

    Three men worked in the Empire State Building on the 102nd floor. One day the elevator…
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    Y2K Backup System

    While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by January 1, 2000, and most of our…

Five things you don't want to hear from Tech Support:

1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"

2. "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

3. "Your problem can be fixed, but you're going to need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery."

4. "Press 1 for Support.
    Press 2 if you're with ‘60 minutes.'
    Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

5. "Hold on a second, please ... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"

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