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Five Things You Do Not Want to Hear when Calling Tech Support

1.  "Duuuuuude!  Bummer!"

2.  In layman's term, we call that the "Hindenburg Effect."

3.  "Your problem can be fixed, but you're going to need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery."

4.  "Press 1 for Support.  Press 2 if your with '60 Minutes.' Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

5.  "Hold on a second, please ...  Mom!  Timmy is hitting me!!!

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