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    No Chat Excuse

    After a close friend moved away, we began to communicate by computer. We met each week in…
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    Rough Flight

    The pastor of our church began his sermon with this story:"I was on a plane last week,…
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    Ten Things A Cat Thinks About

    *Ten Things A Cat Thinks About*1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.2. Is there…
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    Lengthy Discourse

    A visiting minister was very long-winded. Worse, every time he would make a good point…
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    How does a home schooler change a light bulb?

    Q: How does a home schooler change a light bulb? A: First, mom checks three books on…
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    Banking Woes

    The girl came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial…
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    Goat for Dinner

    The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the…
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    Cow Philosophies

    Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms. Socialism: you have two…
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    VP Moniker

    The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office to tell me the good…
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    Threatening Letters

    The fellow stormed into the postmaster's office in a fury. "I've been getting threatening…
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    Gated Community

    Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both…
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    Interactive Weather

    Our part of the country had gone for weeks with little or no rain. The TV weatherman, on…
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    Road Closed

    Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway…
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    Pet Hotline

    The Iams Pet Professionals, a team of 30 trained customer service representatives at The…
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    Halloween Pun

    Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, were vacationing in Europe -- as it happens, in…

1.  "Duuuuuude!  Bummer!"

2.  In layman's term, we call that the "Hindenburg Effect."

3.  "Your problem can be fixed, but you're going to need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery."

4.  "Press 1 for Support.  Press 2 if your with '60 Minutes.' Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

5.  "Hold on a second, please ...  Mom!  Timmy is hitting me!!!

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