logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Food, Family and Philosophy

    Gary is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks…
  • Default Image

    Trio of Puns

    Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous…
  • police dog

    Police Dog Freeze

    A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff's department canine unit. One evening, the…
  • Default Image

    Rope Response

    A young fellow just starting into cattle ranching called the old cowboy one rainy evening…
  • Default Image

    Exam Help

    The final exam in electrical engineering worried my son, Don. On the last day of class,…
  • Default Image

    The Hokey Pokey

    *The Hokey Pokey*Original LyricsPut your left foot in,Your left foot out,Your left foot…
  • Default Image

    Pain Management

    My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain…
  • Default Image

    City Preacher

    Having grown up just outside New York City, I barely knew a cow from an ear of corn.…
  • Default Image

    Helpless Creatures

    A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur…
  • airport security

    Packing

    I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in…
  • Default Image

    Pastor's Golf Sunday

    There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be…
  • Default Image

    Goober Y2K Date Change Project Status:

    Y-to-K Date Change Project Status: Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time…
  • Default Image

    Grasshopper in Bar

    A grasshopper goes into a bar and hops on to a barstool to order a drink. The bartender…
  • picture of pierced ears

    Pierced Ears

    The students in my third-grade class were bombarding me with questions about my newly…
  • Default Image

    Y2K - Not so Bad

    January 1, 2000 Re: Vacation Pay Dear Valued Employee: Our records indicate that you have…
Each year, Chicago Center saves the top 20 excerpts from conversations between airline pilots and controllers...here's the top 20 from one year, taken right off the actual tapes.

"Approach, how far from the airport are we in minutes?"
"N923, the faster you go, the quicker you'll get here"

"American 220...eenie, meenie, miney, moe...how do you hear my radio?"

"Air Wisconsin 335, caution wake turbulence...there is an Air Wisconsin 345 on the frequency."

"I don't mind altitude separation as long as they're not on top of each other."

"We were told runway 9...we'll take out the 14R approach plate."
"Captain, you got 6 miles to take it out...have a ball!"

"The traffic at nine o'clock's gonna do a little Linda Rondstadt on you."
"Linda Rondstadt?!?  What's that????"
"Well sir....they're gonna 'Blue Bayou'!"

I can see the country club down below...looks like alot of controllers out there."
"Yes sir, there is...and they're caddying for DC-10 drivers like you!"

"Northwest 07K...you look like you're established on the localizer and I don't know the names of any of the fixes...you're cleared for the ILS approach, call tower."

"Amtram 726, sorry 'bout that...Center thought you were a Midway arrival...just sit back, relax and pass out some more cookies and we'll get you to Milwaukee."

"Approach, what's our sequence?"
"Calling for sequence, I missed your callsign...but if I find out what it is, you're last"

"Sure you can have 8 miles behind the heavy, but there'll be United Tri-jet between you and him."

"Approach, Southwest 436...you want US to turn right to 090???"
"No, I want your brother to turn...just do it and don't argue!"

"Approach, United 525...what's this aircraft doing at my altitude?"
"United 525...what makes you think it's your altitude?!?"

"Delta 1176, say speed"
"Approach, we slowed to 220"
"Delta 1176, pick it back up to 250...this ain't Atlanta and those ain't grits on the ground."

"Request runway 27 right."
"Unable."
"Approach...do you know that the wind at 6,000 ft is 270 at 50?"
"Yeah I do...and if we could jack the airport up to 5,500 ft, you could have that runway...expect 14 right."

"Air Force 45, it appears your engine has...oh, disregard...I see you've already ejected."

"The first officer's says he has you in sight"
"Roger, the first officer's cleared for a visual approach runway 27...YOU continue on that 180 heading and descend down to 3,000 ft."

"Hey O'Hare...you see that 7600 code flashing 5 miles NW of Gary?"
"Yeah I do...you guys talking to him?"

"Approach, what's the tower?"
"A big tall building with glass all around it..."

"How far behind traffic are we?"
"3 miles."
"That doesn't look like 3 miles to us!"
"Well, you're a mile and a half from him and he's a mile and a half from you, so that's 3 miles!"
Powered By JFBConnect