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  • red life_saver

    Officer Overboard

    On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard lookout, "What would you do…
  • Dog Waits for Owner

    Missing You

    Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the…
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    Waiting For A Table

    When my husband and I showed up at a very popular restaurant, it was crowded. I went up…
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    No Pets Allowed

    Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a…
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    How to Bathe a Cat

    1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet…
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    Doctor's Orders

    Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous…
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    Lawyer Son

    When my mother was called for jury duty, she felt confident of her Ability to answer the…
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    Plane Programming

    At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward…
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    Ways To Drive A Man Crazy

    ~ Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. ~ Organize his workshop,…
  • phone number buttons

    Bank Call

    One of my jobs at a bank is to answer the phones and put callers through to the right…
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    Pitching Control

    A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk…
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    Coffee Choices

    In our home we tend to get the children to help out. One day our youngest son came in to…
  • picture of shopping cart

    Supermarket Saavy

    One day my brother-in-law noticed an elderly lady slowly pushing a cart through the…
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    Exemplary Offspring

    Three mothers were sitting around comparing notes on their exemplary offspring."There…
  • power workers

    Checking Out

    I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just…

A DJ was introducing a record. "This next one," he said, "is for Charlotte Burke, who is a hundred and eleven. Hey, Charlotte, congratulations on a ripe old age!"

There was a short pause and then the DJ said in a somewhat more subdued voice,

"I'm sorry, I got it wrong. This next one is for Charlotte Burke, who is ill."

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