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  • painter

    If Airlines Sold Paint

    Customer: Hi. How much is your paint? Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot…
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    Animal Superbowl

    During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals…
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    Dining Out

    The waitress comes over and recognizes the family seated at the table; Mr. & Mrs. Smith…
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    Party Advice

    A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly…
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    Looking For The Lift

    As a concierge at a posh resort, I was often asked about the ski facilities. One day a…
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    Ten Reasons Why Men Should Join The Choir

    *Ten Reasons Why Men Should Join The Choir*10. Rehearsals are every Wednesday night. This…
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    Exact Address

    Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all over town. That meant, as a…
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    Better By Train

    A large two-engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance, one of…
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    Distraught Senior

    A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office."Is it true," she wanted to know,…
  • picture of cat on roof

    Cat's Guide For Human Care

    More Excerpts from "The Cat's Guide To Caring For Your Human. Cats are beautiful,…
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    Zack and His Mule

    Zack and his mule were walking down the road when one of Zack's friends drove up and…
  • car old

    Battery Life

    An angry motorist went back to a garage where he had purchased an expensive battery for…
  • money stack

    AMAP

    The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. "I…
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    Power Lesson

    A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings…
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    Snack Costs

    My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor…

A DJ was introducing a record. "This next one," he said, "is for Charlotte Burke, who is a hundred and eleven. Hey, Charlotte, congratulations on a ripe old age!"

There was a short pause and then the DJ said in a somewhat more subdued voice,

"I'm sorry, I got it wrong. This next one is for Charlotte Burke, who is ill."

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