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    Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

    One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog…
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    Mike's Girlfriend

    After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed him --…
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    Dog Report

    Craig's two kids are in the same class at school, and the teacher had the class write…
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    Another Try - Things You Never Want to Hear the Exterminator Say

    Things You Never Want to Hear the Exterminator Say...20. You know, when you build your…
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    Translated Golf

    An American was golfing at the Old Course in St. Andrews, Scotland. He slices his opening…
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    Cow-isms

    *Various organizational philosophies explained in "two cow" terms.* Socialism: You have…
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    Preacher and Cowboy

    One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were…
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    Engine Failure

    Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced,…
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    Census Taker

    An old man was sitting on his porch, when a young man walked up with a pad and pencil in…
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    Hearing Aid

    While talking with my semi-deaf uncle one evening, I noticed that his "hearing aid" was…
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    Safe Keeping

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
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    Everything is Wonderful

    Everything is WonderfulMy face in the mirrorIsn't wrinkled or drawn.My house isn't…
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    Foreign Encounter

    I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must…
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    Inferior Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
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    Empty Nest Syndrome

    You know you are suffering from "Empty Nest Syndrome" if..... You have thrown out the…

A DJ was introducing a record. "This next one," he said, "is for Charlotte Burke, who is a hundred and eleven. Hey, Charlotte, congratulations on a ripe old age!"

There was a short pause and then the DJ said in a somewhat more subdued voice,

"I'm sorry, I got it wrong. This next one is for Charlotte Burke, who is ill."

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