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  • football

    Football Newbie

    A guy took his girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked…
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    Computer Users

    Computer users are divided into three types: Novice, Intermediate, and Expert. Novice…
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    Late Arrival

    A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!"He…
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    Diary

    Linda: "What's that you're reading?"Jill: "A diary."Linda: What's in it?Jill: "I can't…
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    Memory Improvement

    I knew that as I was getting older, and finally able to admit it, certain things were…
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    Goober Mirror

    Two goobers, Carol and Patty, were walking down the street.Carol noticed a compact on the…
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    Golf Friendless

    "Bob, why don't you play golf with John anymore?" asked a friend."Would you play golf…
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    Yiddish Speak

    During the first day of Hanukkah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli…
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    Preaching Assistant

    A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He…
  • phone help

    IAMS Hotline

    The IAMS Pet Professionals, a team of 30 trained customer service representatives at The…
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    Husband and Wife Christmas Shopping

    A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed…
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    Pitching Control

    A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk…
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    Prison Joke Book

    It was Mickey's first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were in their cells…
  • railway tracks

    Workin' on the Railroad

    Benny wanted a job as a signalman on the railways. At his interview, the inspector asked…
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    Snack Costs

    My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor…
After being laid off from three jobs in the past year, Dewey was hired to work in a warehouse.

Unfortunately, one day he lost control of the forklift and drove it off the loading dock. Surveying the damage, the owner shook his head and said, "I'm sorry, Dewey, but I'm going to have to withhold 10 percent of each of your paychecks until we back the damage."

"How much will it cost?" Dewey asked.

"About $5,000," the owner replied.

"Finally!" Dewey exclaimed.  "Job security!"
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