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    Birthday Wish

    A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday."I'd like a little…
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    Put Him Back

    When my now 14-year-old daughter was 3 and her younger brother was getting into…
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    Get Me Out

    My husband David's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest…
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    Eye Test

    I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the…
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    Flying Follies

    Each year, Chicago Center saves the top 20 excerpts from conversations between airline…
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    Mom, Send Money

    A kid called up his mum from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out…
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    Dextrocardia Question

    I went to a medical clinic for an electrocardiogram. While the technician was lining up…
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    Sunday Compliment

    The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it…
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    The Half Cake Diet

    A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight.She'd made her family's…
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    6 Legged Turkey

    An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better…
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    Cheap Motel

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6am wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke…
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    Welcome Home

    A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane. She had just come back from a…
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    Fight Lights

    I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn't help that…
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    Job Application

    This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food…
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    Family Records

    The following was overheard at a recent high society party..."My ancestry goes all the…

Old folks are worth a fortune: With silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet and gas in their stomachs.  I have become more social with the passing of the years; some might even call me a frivolous old gal.  I'm seeing five gentlemen everyday.

As soon as I wake, Will Power helps me get out of bed.  Then I go see John. Then Charley Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention.  When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day.  (He doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint.) After such a busy day, I'm really tired and glad to go to bed - with Ben Gay.  What a life!

P.S.  The preacher came to call the other day.  He said that at my age I should be thinking about the hereafter.  I told him I do - all the time.  No matter where I am - in the parlor, upstairs in the kitchen or down in the basement - I ask myself, "Now, what am I here after?"

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