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    Honeymoon Toast

    One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she…
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    Dog Stop

    Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a…
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    Stern Announcement

    During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and…
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    The Upper Hand

    A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation…
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    More Church Bulletin Humor

    *More Church Bulletin Humor* Sermon Outline:I. Delineate your fearII. Disown your…
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    Older Parents

    We had our ten-year-old daughter late in life, long after our two boys were born. She is…
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    Watermelon Mistake

    Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to…
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    New Apartment

    A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants…
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    MIT PHD

    There's the story about the MIT student who spent an entire summer going to Harvard…
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    No Gun Hunting

    There's this guy who shows up at a cabin where these hunters have gathered to hunt bear.…
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    Morning Sickness

    Sarah dropped in on her sister Molly and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring…
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    Sermon Sub

    A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He…
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    Frog in Pocket

    A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the…
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    12 Step Web Addicts Recovery Program

    1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to,…
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    Market Conditions

    The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning. "I'm sorry," she said, "Mr.…

A man walks up to a cashier in a grocery store. He says, "Hey, how much for these jalapeño peppers?" He pronounces it "jo-la-pen-o," not "ho-lo-peen-yo."

The cashier says, "Sir, that's not what those peppers are called."

The man replies, "Listen, buddy, this is America, and I can pronounce any word the way I please."

The cashier responds, "That is as may be, sir, but those are green peppers."

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