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    First I Got

    Elmer says, "First, I got tonsillitis, followed by appendicitis and pneumonia. After that…
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    Employee of the Month

    Chuck Rogers, a self employed marketing consultant, has won his company's 'Employee of…
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    Dalmation Role

    A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a…
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    Missing Car Parts

    A goober calls 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is…
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    Kitty Hostage

    My grandson Christopher is about six.He went to the next-door neighbors fence and…
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    Tea For Two

    Little Johnny was left to fix lunch. When his mother returned with a friend, she noticed…
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    Landing Check

    I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in…
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    Finally

    A man was sleeping when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is breaking in!"…
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    Need a Pen?

    A patient at the dental office where I was a receptionist stopped by my desk to pay her…
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    Bigger and Bigger

    A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets…
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    Workin' on the Railroad

    Benny wanted a job as a signalman on the railways. At his interview, the inspector asked…
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    Afraid To Cross

    Two men stand at a river which they are about to cross when they notice crocodiles…
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    Family Support

    The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?” The surprised…
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    Alternative Baptism

    As a young preacher, my small church had limited facilities, so we held baptisms in a…
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    Baby Growth

    Our first three babies, all girls, each weighed about seven pounds at birth. When our…

A man walks up to a cashier in a grocery store. He says, "Hey, how much for these jalapeño peppers?" He pronounces it "jo-la-pen-o," not "ho-lo-peen-yo."

The cashier says, "Sir, that's not what those peppers are called."

The man replies, "Listen, buddy, this is America, and I can pronounce any word the way I please."

The cashier responds, "That is as may be, sir, but those are green peppers."

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