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    12 Reasons to be Thankful You Burned the Turkey

    1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened.…
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    Rejected Invitation

    Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her…
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    Jumper

    At the local Starbucks, a little guy exchanged words with a big bald guy and it looked…
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    Goober on the Loose

    Three convicts escaped from prison. They made it to the downtown of a nearby city but…
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    Chicken Neighbour

    A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The…
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    Gift Diamonds

    Morris ran into Jacob while shopping at the mall the other day in front of one of the…
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    Department Staff

    The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff…
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    Empty Nest Syndrome

    You know you are suffering from "Empty Nest Syndrome" if..... You have thrown out the…
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    Mother's Intuition

    I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a…
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    Bathroom Instructions

    On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the…
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    Forced Landing

    A flight instructor was sent out to help a student who had radioed that he was about to…
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    Jury Duty

    Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?Juror: I don't…
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    1 in 5

    Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family,…
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    Rejected Rejection

    Re: Rejected Rejection Dear Ms. Ezell: Thank you for your letter of July 17. After…
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    How You Can Tell It's Going to Be a Rotten Day

    -You wake up face down on the pavement. -You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on…

A man walks up to a cashier in a grocery store. He says, "Hey, how much for these jalapeño peppers?" He pronounces it "jo-la-pen-o," not "ho-lo-peen-yo."

The cashier says, "Sir, that's not what those peppers are called."

The man replies, "Listen, buddy, this is America, and I can pronounce any word the way I please."

The cashier responds, "That is as may be, sir, but those are green peppers."

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