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    Lost Ticket

    Albert Einstein was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on…
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    Fishing and Sisters

    A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He…
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    Audi Alteram Parten

    During a Law course class, the 'Audi Alteram Parten' rule was explained. Translated it…
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    A Father's Method

    A loaded SUV pulled in to the only remaining campsite. Four children leapt from the…
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    Cat Joke

    A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him…
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    Visiting List

    A Catholic priest I once knew went to the hospital to visit patients. Stopping at the…
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    Nativity Quiz

    A minister is visiting his children to celebrate Christmas. When he walks into the house,…
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    Tired of Rejection?

    Tired of being rejected for jobs - maybe this form letter will come in handy. Dear…
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    Name The Twins

    A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma.…
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    Goober Airlines

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:…
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    Votive Candles

    Visiting St Patrick's Cathedral on a tour of New York City, my daughter and her children…
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    Three Important Words

    At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married…
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    Diet Skipping

    Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat…
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    Freshman's Blind Date

    "How was your blind date?" a freshman college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the…
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    Absent Minded Professor

    One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded…

*Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care*

Q. What does HMO stand for?

A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "Hey, Moe!" Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes. Modern practice replaces the physical finger poke with hi-tech equivalents such as voice mail and referral slips, but the result remains the same.

Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?

A. No. Only those you need.

Q. I just joined a new HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?

A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors who were participating in the plan at the time the information was gathered. These doctors basically fall into two categories--those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer part of the plan. But don't worry--the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half day's drive away!

Q. What are pre-existing conditions?

A. This is a phrase used by the grammatically challenged when they want to talk about existing conditions.

Unfortunately, we appear to be pre-stuck with it.

Q. Well, can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions?

A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?

A. Poke yourself in the eye.

Q. What should I do if I get sick while traveling?

A. Try sitting in a different part of the bus.

Q. No, I mean what if I'm away from home and I get sick?

A. You really shouldn't do that. You'll have a hard time seeing your primary care physician. It's best to wait until you return, and then get sick.

Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his office?

A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $10 co-payment, there's no harm giving him a shot at it.

Q. Will health care be any different in the next century?

A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

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