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    City Kids Camping

    Two boys from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce the boys had…
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    Matching Shoes

    John and Nancy were married for 40 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows and…
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    Goober Exam

    The Goober reported for her University final examination, which consisted of"yes/no" type…
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    Funeral Bells

    A minister well known for his beautiful singing voice came home visibly upset after…
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    Wedding Cake Verse

    A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding…
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    The Head Hog

    The secretary picked up the phone and heard a very "countryfied" voice on the other end…
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    One-liners

    1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.2. Make yourself at home! Clean my…
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    New Apartment

    A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants…
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    Police Pastor

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
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    Out of Gas Advice

    After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it…
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    Headstones

    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to…
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    Newspaper Ads

    **Our experienced mother will care for your child. Fenced yards, meals and smacks…
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    Things to do when seeing Lord Of The Rings:

    1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait! Where is Harry Potter?"2.…
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    New Golfer

    A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he…
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    One Hard Question

    There was a student who wanted to be admitted to the University.He was smart enough to…

newspaper1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."

- The Daily Telegraph

2) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.

- The Guardian

3) A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common."

- The Times

4) Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of the war in1945. As she recalled to the crowd, "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelled out "Heil Hitler."

- Bournemouth Evening Echo

5) At the height of the gale, the harbormaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.

- Aberdeen Evening Express

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