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    Wrong Chanel

    The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he'd like a bottle of…
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    Senior Ailments

    A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are…
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    Golf Comeback

    (This joke is based on an actual event which is a part of golf lore around the world). A…
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    Firehouse Training Session

    At a training session in the fire station, the team was assembled around the kitchen…
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    Shower Music

    "Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the…
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    Movie Seats

    After I had purchased movie tickets for myself and my girlfriend, she went inside to find…
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    All Saved Up

    After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've…
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    Time Management

    The church wanted to help their congregation cope better with the stresses of modern…
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    New Recruit

    As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had…
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    Thunderstorm Plea

    An airliner flew into a violent thunderstorm and was soon swaying and bumping around the…
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    Thanks Mom

    When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a…
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    Change Help

    A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tire alongside the highway, and…
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    Job Application

    This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food…
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    Newspaper Ads

    **Our experienced mother will care for your child. Fenced yards, meals and smacks…
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    Tourism Promotion

    Traveling through New England, a motorist stopped for gas in a tiny village. "What's this…

newspaper1) Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."

- The Daily Telegraph

2) Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.

- The Guardian

3) A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common."

- The Times

4) Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of the war in1945. As she recalled to the crowd, "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelled out "Heil Hitler."

- Bournemouth Evening Echo

5) At the height of the gale, the harbormaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.

- Aberdeen Evening Express

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