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More Jokes

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    Diaper Change

    "Here's your problem," says the doctor to the first-time father. "This baby's in serious…
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    Goat for Dinner

    The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the…
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    Rare Steak

    A cattle rancher went into town on a Saturday night for a sit-down steak dinner. When the…
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    Chair Test

    An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing…
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    Measuring Hunger

    The parents in our cycling group were discussing the subject of teenagers and their…
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    Tail Light

    "How long have you been driving without a tail light, buddy?" demanded the policeman. The…
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    Kangaroo Fence

    A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high,…
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    Sauce Control Center

    Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she…
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    Side Effects of a Life in Comedy

    Side Effects of a Life in Comedy* Recurring nightmare: as your "Harpo Meets Teller"…
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    New Diet

    Needing to shed a few pounds, my husband and I went on a diet that had specific recipes…
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    Cats

    "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.""In a cat's eye, all things…
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    Australian Vacation

    On a vacation to Australia, a Texas farmer meets an Aussie farmer and starts talking to…
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    Salesman Jig

    My husband and I had bought some gadgets for our almost teen-age grandsons and were…
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    Negotiated Rules of Golf Between AARP and USGA

    The AARP has negotiated with the USGA to modify the following rules of golf for…
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    Answering Machine Messages

    *Answering Machine Messages*Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already…

Top Ten Uses for Fruit Cake

10. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table.

9. Use instead of sand bags during El Nino.

8. Send to U.S. Air Force, let troops drop them.

7. Use as railroad ties.

6. Use as speed bumps to foil the neighborhood drag racers.

5. Collect ten and use them as bowling pins.

4. Use instead of cement shoes.

3. Save for next summer's garage sale.

2. Use slices in next skeet-shooting competition.

1. Two words: pin cushion.

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