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More Jokes

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    Name Warning

    On a street, where the speed is limited to 30 mph the police stop a driver."Not only have…
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    Argument Settled

    The other day, Avril and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would…
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    Bear Flight

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    Chicken Neighbour

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    Pain Cause

    A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my…
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    Clergy Crowd Control

    A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it would help him better understand the…
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    Robbie's Move

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    Marrying Young

    My sister, went to the department store to check out the bridal registry of our niece…
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    Insurance Claims

    These are from insurance forms in which drivers were asked to explain their disasters in…
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    Police Report

    A motorist collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the police report were: Q -…
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    Shakey's Cure

    Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I`ve got trouble. Every time I get into…
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    Goober Baby News

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Young Dressing

    When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and…
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    Computer Help Desk

    Heard by the computer help desk:A customer couldn't get on the Internet:Helpdesk: "Are…
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    Thanks Mom

    When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a…

"Hi!  John's answering machine is broken.  This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."

"Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency.  We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up."

"Hello, this is Sally's microwave.  Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls.  Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone."

"Hello, you are talking to a machine.  I am capable of receiving messages.  My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.  They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken.  If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."

"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device.  After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."

"Hi, this is George.  I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.  Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."

"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.  Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."

"Hi.  I am probably home.  I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.  Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's YOU."

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