logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Waking Up

    This week a man awoke from a coma that had lasted for 62 years. His first question was,…
  • Default Image

    Forest Fire Fly By

    The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest…
  • Default Image

    Rank Explanation

    My brother Ken was home on leave from his post in Hawaii, when he announced that he had…
  • golf tee

    Ladies' Tee

    It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Murray was beginning his pre-shot routine,…
  • Default Image
  • Default Image

    Vacuous Goober

    It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."Her question…
  • Default Image

    Materialistic Or What?

    A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jag XK-8 in front of the office, ready to…
  • Default Image

    Modern Day Proverbs

    ON DEEP THOUGHTS A day without sunshine is like night. ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES…
  • Default Image

    Kitchen Wizard

    My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she…
  • Default Image

    Ice Capades

    A mother's four-year-old daughter was attending her first performance of the Ice Capades.…
  • Default Image

    Lawyer Light Bulb

    Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Such number as may be deemed…
  • Default Image

    Ask Jeeves

    My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the…
  • Default Image

    Goober & Cell Phone

    A young man wanted to get his beautiful goober wife something nice for their first…
  • Default Image

    Air Boss

    Activated from the Army Reserves for a joint service Arctic exercise, I was assigned to…
  • Default Image

    Ammunition Substantiation

    An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter…

"Hi!  John's answering machine is broken.  This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."

"Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency.  We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up."

"Hello, this is Sally's microwave.  Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls.  Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone."

"Hello, you are talking to a machine.  I am capable of receiving messages.  My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.  They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken.  If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."

"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device.  After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."

"Hi, this is George.  I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.  Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."

"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.  Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."

"Hi.  I am probably home.  I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.  Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's YOU."

Powered By JFBConnect