logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Nervous Bride

    Apparently this is a true story. A woman in her forties got married but was bit nervous…
  • Default Image

    Shhhhhh!

    A father had three very active boys. One summer evening, he was playing cops and robbers…
  • Default Image

    Dad Shopping

    In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with…
  • Default Image

    Quotable Quotes

    I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department…
  • Default Image

    Coast Guard Keeping

    My daughter Michelle is the commander of a Coast Guard Cutter. When she gave my husband…
  • Default Image

    Cold Cream Questions

    A little boy watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face."Why…
  • Default Image

    Vow of Silence

    A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then…
  • Default Image

    Get Me Out

    My husband David's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest…
  • Default Image

    Jack's Will

    Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's last will…
  • Default Image

    Poor Preacher

    After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give…
  • Default Image

    Pilot, Let's Go!

    With his request approved, the CNN News cameraman quickly used his cell phone to call the…
  • Default Image

    Small Town Check

    I had just moved from an apartment to a house in the same small town. One day at the…
  • picture of a hot pepper

    Pepper Advice

    When chopping a hot pepper... 1. Do NOT rub your nose... and if you do and it starts to…
  • Default Image

    Lawyer Questioning

    There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally came…
  • milk2

    Waterology

    I'm sure you've heard the old story referring to optimism and pessimism that is…

"Hi!  John's answering machine is broken.  This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."

"Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency.  We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up."

"Hello, this is Sally's microwave.  Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls.  Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone."

"Hello, you are talking to a machine.  I am capable of receiving messages.  My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.  They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken.  If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."

"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device.  After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."

"Hi, this is George.  I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.  Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."

"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone.  Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."

"Hi.  I am probably home.  I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.  Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's YOU."

Powered By JFBConnect