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More Jokes

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    Knowing About Radios

    One month into Marine Corps training in San Diego, Calif., we were preparing for a…
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    Dog Tricks

    *Mind Games You Can Play with Your Humans* 1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T…
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    Sticking Out

    At our daughter's high school graduation, I couldn't help noticing a young man sporting a…
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    PC Assets

    My husband refused to learn how to operate a PC. I tried to get him to realize how…
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    Living to 104

    At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his…
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    New Axioms of the Nineties

    New Axioms of the Nineties1. Home is where you hang your @.2. The e-mail of the species…
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    New and Approved

    The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a goodnight story.…
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    Starting Over

    The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have…
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    Lazy Cobbler

    A man went into a shoe repair store in his hometown that he had not been in for almost…
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    Remember When

    An old couple is sitting in their living room when the old woman leans over and says to…
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    John Will Be Fine

    The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his…
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    Golfing Seniors

    "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty…
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    Jonah Test

    A little girl was observed by her pastor standing outside the pre-school Sunday School…
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    Little Johnny's Bike

    Little Johnny was one of those holy terrors. His dad was surprised when Johnny's mom…
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    Real 911 Calls

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots…
Funny Police Quotes

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new.  They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going.  I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.  Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning!  You want a warning?  O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.  Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota.  Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.  We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Just how big were those two beers?

"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
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