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More Jokes

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    Executive Approval

    For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company.…
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    Car Moving

    It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the…
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    Dirty Hands in Class

    A teacher sees a student entering the classroom, his hands are very dirty.She stopped him…
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    Two Kids

    Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted…
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    Read The Label

    It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised…
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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 3

    11. Subject: Children's Logic: Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a…
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    Morning Pills

    This morning, before I had my first cup of coffee and chased the cob webs from my brain,…
  • A funny diatribe about children and parenting

    Lamentation For Our Kids

    This is rather lengthy but funny. *Laws Pertaining to Dessert* For we judge between the…
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    Hearing Aid

    While talking with my semi-deaf uncle one evening, I noticed that his "hearing aid" was…
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    New Windows Error Messages

    Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.…
  • Signs of our Time

    Signs of the Times

    In a veterinarian's office:"All unattended children given free kitten" In the parking lot…
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    Division Of Brick Labor

    At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his…
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    Gold Watch

    A boss to a retiree:"As a symbol of our gratitude, we have created this special gold…
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    One Call

    The two teenagers were arrested. The police sergeant told them they were entitled to a…
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    Firehouse Training Session

    At a training session in the fire station, the team was assembled around the kitchen…
Funny Police Quotes

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new.  They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going.  I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.  Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning!  You want a warning?  O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.  Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota.  Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.  We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Just how big were those two beers?

"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
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