More Jokes

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    When our local doctor began attending church services the minister was delighted, and it…
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    Baseball Class

    A professor at the Michigan State University was known for giving boring, cliche-ridden…
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    Price of Oranges

    Mrs. Goldberg was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She approached the…
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    Pickup Backfire

    Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the floor of her son's room, a mother finally…
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    Modern Potty Training

    Little brother: What do I do now?Big brother: Throw the toilet paper in the toilet.Little…
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    Hearing Test

    A man goes to his doctor and says "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used…
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    Kitten Revival

    A mother looked out a window and saw Johnny playing church with their three kittens. He…
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    Screaming patient

    A woman went to doctors the office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after…
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    Largest Amphibious Assault

    I had been teaching my seventh-graders about World War II, and a test question was, "What…
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    A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that…
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    Big Toe Tingle

    A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. "Doc, there's…
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    Hymns For The Aging

    *Hymns for the Aging* Precious Lord, Take my Hand (And Help Me Get Up) It is Well with My…
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    Self-Evident Truths About Pets

    *Self-Evident Truths About Pets** Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they…
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    Public Servant Sentence

    "Write a sentence about a public servant," said the teacher. The small boy wrote, "The…
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    Head First Entry

    A jeweler standing behind the counter of his shop after hours was astounded to see a…
Funny Police Quotes

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new.  They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going.  I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.  Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning!  You want a warning?  O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.  Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota.  Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.  We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Just how big were those two beers?

"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
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