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More Jokes

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    Birth Wharp

    Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was…
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    Words to Ponder

    *Words to Ponder* Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. I'd kill…
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    Parrot Problems

    A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a…
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    Published Sermons

    After a particularly inspiring worship service, a church member greeted the pastor.…
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    Because I Am A Guy

    Because I am A Guy... ..I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I…
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    What is Marketing?

    What is Marketing?You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am…
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    The Good Night Kiss

    At the end of their first date, a young man takes the girl back to her home. Emboldened…
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    Overworked

    For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my…
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    Lawyer Light Bulb Completion

    So many of you threatened to sue me if I didn't supply the end of yesterday's CleanLaugh,…
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    Engine Failure

    Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced,…
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    Computer Error

    I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Bob the computer guy, to come over.…
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    Milk Switch

    To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods,…
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    Goober Return

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. A goober walks up…
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    How's My Driving?

    I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.I got…
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    Stair Climbing

    Most mornings I go to the local YMCA to exercise. One morning there was a big man working…
Funny Police Quotes

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new.  They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going.  I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.  Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning!  You want a warning?  O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.  Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota.  Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.  We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Just how big were those two beers?

"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
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