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More Jokes

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    You're No Longer A Kid When…

    You're No Longer A Kid When...- Driving a car doesn't always sound like fun.- You have…
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    Salt and Mensa

    Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher.A few years ago, there…
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    Goober On The Net

    A goober went to his mail box several times before it was even time for the mailman to…
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    A Hi-Tech Litmus Test

    This morning, on the church newsletter were these instructions:Hold this paper close to…
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    Failing Eyesight

    An older lady was expecting a gentleman friend to call on her later in the day. She was…
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    Serious Shopper

    I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just…
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    Good Robbery

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
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    Mom Wonder

    A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like. She said, "We used…
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    Shoe Fit

    A man walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the…
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    Too Late To Date

    An elderly woman died last month.Having never married, she requested no male…
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    Ask Jeeves

    My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the…
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    Dishwasher Repair

    Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work…
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    Head First Entry

    A jeweler standing behind the counter of his shop after hours was astounded to see a…
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    Eye Test

    I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the…
Funny Police Quotes

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new.  They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going.  I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.  Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning!  You want a warning?  O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.  Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota.  Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.  We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Just how big were those two beers?

"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
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