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More Jokes

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    Visiting Oxford

    An guy was visiting Oxford University for the first time. He stopped a passing Oxford don…
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    Pie Manners

    In a country home that seldom had guests, the young son was eager to help his mother…
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    Daytime Television

    A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing…
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    Pig Rescuer

    Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig…
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    Stuck Between Floors

    Soon after our high-tech company moved into a new building, we had trouble with the…
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    Zoo Sign

    Although fun to visit, zoos do pose certain perils. But to whom? A sign posted in the…
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    Are We There Yet?

    The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so…
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    Call Me Leroy

    Uncle Leroy got a job down at the broom factory. On his first day the straw boss (floor…
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    Dinosaur Highway

    A goober was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the…
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    Signs You Are an Elementary School Teacher

    You are probably an elementary school teacher if:~ You ask guests if they have remembered…
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    Speeding Stories

    *PULLED OVER* "Hey you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop. The lady complied, and the…
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    Retirement At The Inn

    Why didn't somebody tell me?With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching…
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    Marine Mines

    In Marine Corps basic training, I soon learned that everything we recruits used belonged…
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    Heard By Tech

    Things heard by tech support:Customer: "I have Microword Soft."Customer: "Microwave…
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    A Hi-Tech Litmus Test

    This morning, on the church newsletter were these instructions:Hold this paper close to…
Funny Police Quotes

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new.  They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going.  I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.  Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning!  You want a warning?  O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.  Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota.  Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.  We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Just how big were those two beers?

"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
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