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More Jokes

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    Jury Duty

    Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?Juror: I don't…
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    Goober 2 by 4s

    A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of them walked into…
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    Better Preacher

    After the visiting preacher finished, a woman came up and said, "You were much better…
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    Van Problem

    The fist knocking on the door belonged to a cop. Bracing for the worst, the yard foreman…
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    Who's the Boss?

    The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any…
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    No Contraband

    After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother…
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    Wedding Pass

    A friend of mine joined the Navy and soon after had to attend a wedding. He asked an…
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    New Pet

    A man was driving down a country road when he saw a baby pig along side the road. He…
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    Name Problem

    It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn. The teacher asked the…
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    Impressive Dinner

    A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of…
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    Actual Warnings On Products

    *Actual Warnings On Products* On instructions for a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.…
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    Eye Test Chart

    When his eyes began to give him trouble, a man went to a ophthalmologist in Prague. The…
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    Helpful Executive

    A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing…
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    Computer T-Shirt Slogans - #3

    Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT'Shell to DOS, Come in DOS, do you COPY?All computers…
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    Manservant

    Because of a shortage of maids, the minister's wife advertised for a manservant. The next…
Funny Police Quotes

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new.  They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"So, you don't know how fast you were going.  I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.  Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning!  You want a warning?  O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.  Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota.  Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.  We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Just how big were those two beers?

"In God we trust, all others are suspects."
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