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More Jokes

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    Bagpipe Jokes

    Relax, they aren't that bad - it's just joking about them that's fun. Q. What's the…
  • paper pen

    14 Letters

    Robert and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence…
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    Morning Sickness

    Sarah dropped in on her sister Molly and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring…
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    No Place Like Home

    While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our table, and we started…
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    More Cute Kids

    On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van past a church in a small…
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    Vow of Silence

    A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then…
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    Divider Return

    I was checking out at the local Albertsons with just a few items and the lady behind me…
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    A Deeper Problem

    Little Johnny had been bringing his drawings home from kindergarten every day since he…
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    Face Warning

    Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped…
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    Lost

    Steve took his new wife camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along…
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    Fourth Grade Logic

    A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation,"…
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    Why Don't I see You?

    A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and as always the preacher was…
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    Diamond Assumption

    An acquaintance of mine, whose daughter was about to be married, decided to give her a…
  • office write

    Job Interview

    Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer…
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    Moon Cheese

    For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese.Then the astronauts found…

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
- Red Buttons

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car
he sticks his head out the window.
- Steve Bluestone

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
- George Carlin

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
- Carol Leifer

The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
- Roger Simon

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
- Dave Edison

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
- Johnny Carson

I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running the country.
Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache.
- Jack Mayberry

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how
long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
- Elayne Boosler

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
- John Mendoza

I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
- Jeff Stilson

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental
illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
- Rita Mae Brown

I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
- Lily Tomlin

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh
no....I could be eating a slow learner.
- Lynda Montgomery

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