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More Jokes

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    Blind Date Slap

    An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to…
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    Why Some Countries CAN'T Go Metric

    If the metric system did ever take over, we'd have to change our thinking to the…
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    Ladies' Tee

    It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Murray was beginning his pre-shot routine,…
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    Vet Cure

    A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the…
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    First Passport

    At 82 years old, my husband applied for his first passport. He was told he'd need a birth…
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    Lawyer Questions

    The following questions from lawyers (and answers from witnesses) were taken from…
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    Tree Faller

    While working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took X-rays of a…
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    Political Correctness For Kids

    *Political Correctness For Kids*Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's…
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    Burning Call

    A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is…
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    Calories That Don't Count

    Dieting is a lot easier when you factor in recently determined calorie counting…
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    Calling In Sick

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    Lost In Jail

    I was reviewing my client's case with him in prison when it was announced that visitors…
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    *Food Spoilage Tests For Bachelors*

    THE GAG TEST: Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you…
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    Almost Redialed

    I still have a lot of trouble with wrong numbers. Yesterday I dialed the Red Cross and…
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    Newborn Utterance

    The birth of our second child, a daughter, came after a long and difficult labor. But it…

Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery.

"I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium.

"We'll be there in about half an hour," the kid at the other end replied. "Your gate code is still 1238, right?"

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