logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • cards

    Card Dog

    A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog…
  • Default Image

    Student Driver

    As an instructor in driver education at Unionville-Sebewaing Area High School in…
  • Default Image

    Bus Fare to Train Station

    Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver, "What is the fare to the train station?"…
  • Default Image

    September 11 Update

    Dear Cybersalt.org List Members, All Cybersalt.org lists will continue to be silent…
  • Default Image

    Used Lawn Mower

    A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life and practice his hobby of yard…
  • Default Image

    Died In The Service

    One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque…
  • A boy's perspective

    Johnny and Remembrance

    One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large…
  • Default Image

    Wrapping Talk

    A few days after Christmas last year, my six year old son and I were talking.He asked,…
  • Default Image

    Riding Dead Horses

    The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says…
  • Default Image

    Backwoods Delivery

    Deep in the backwoods, the goober's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and…
  • Default Image

    Call to Principal

    The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school. "Hello, this is Dunn…
  • Default Image

    1 in 5

    Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family,…
  • Default Image

    Frog in Pocket

    A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the…
  • Default Image

    Kids Say the Darndest Things

    Kids say the darnedest things. Some grade school teachers must agree with that, because…
  • lawn ornament mis-hap

    Apology

    A customer at the counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two…
General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did....

----------------------

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!"
Help Line: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
Customer: "What's an ignition?"
Help Line: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."
Customer: "Ignition?  Motor?  Battery?  Engine?  How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my car?"

---------------------------

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!"
Help Line: "Is the gas tank empty?"
Customer: "Huh?  How do I know?"
Help Line: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and markings from 'E' to 'F'.  Where is the needle pointing?"
Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'.  What does that mean?"
Help Line: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline.  You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to install it for you."
Customer: "What?  I paid $12,000 for this car!  Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components?  I want a car that comes with everything built in!"

---------------------------

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Your cars are horrible!"
Help Line: "What's wrong?"
Customer: "It crashed, that's what wrong!"
Help Line: "What were you doing?"
Customer: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor.  It worked for a while and then it crashed and it won't start now!
Help Line: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product.  What do you expect us to do about it?"
Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't crash any more!"

---------------------------

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."
Help Line: "Thanks for buying our car.  How can I help you?"
Customer: "How do I work it?"
Help Line: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "Do I know how to what?"
Help Line: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "I'm not a technical person.  I just want to go places in my car!"
Powered By JFBConnect