logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Passing Notes

    An elderly couple are attending a church service. About halfway through, she writes a…
  • Default Image

    Just A Kiss Per Yard

    Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy…
  • office man

    Interview Phrases

    Phrases for you to use in a job interview - or to interpret when interviewing! Phrase:…
  • Default Image

    Ungrateful Son-In-Law

    A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter,…
  • Default Image

    Price Reduction

    Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per…
  • Default Image

    Melanie is Watching

    One day while driving with my then 4 year old daughter Melanie, I beeped the horn by…
  • Default Image

    A Man's Guide to What A Woman Is Saying

    I JUST NEED SOME SPACE. .... without you in it. DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS? We haven't…
  • Default Image

    Lost and Found

    A police car pulled up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa got out. The…
  • Default Image

    Doctor News

    The doctor took his patient into his office and said, "I have some good news and some bad…
  • Default Image

    Clothes Hamper

    I asked my two-year-old to take his dirty clothes and put them into the hamper.He looked…
  • Default Image

    Stork Reunion

    A man took his little boy to the zoo for the very first time. Each time they would see a…
  • Default Image

    Goober Circle

    A goober had just bought a new sports car and was out for a drive when she swerved…
  • Default Image

    Pig Feed

    There was a farmer who had many pigs. One day someone went to the farm and asked the…
  • Default Image

    Turning Left

    My teenaged niece Elizabeth was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving…
  • Default Image

    Game Time

    A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled…
General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did....

----------------------

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!"
Help Line: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
Customer: "What's an ignition?"
Help Line: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."
Customer: "Ignition?  Motor?  Battery?  Engine?  How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my car?"

---------------------------

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!"
Help Line: "Is the gas tank empty?"
Customer: "Huh?  How do I know?"
Help Line: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and markings from 'E' to 'F'.  Where is the needle pointing?"
Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'.  What does that mean?"
Help Line: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline.  You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to install it for you."
Customer: "What?  I paid $12,000 for this car!  Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components?  I want a car that comes with everything built in!"

---------------------------

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Your cars are horrible!"
Help Line: "What's wrong?"
Customer: "It crashed, that's what wrong!"
Help Line: "What were you doing?"
Customer: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor.  It worked for a while and then it crashed and it won't start now!
Help Line: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product.  What do you expect us to do about it?"
Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't crash any more!"

---------------------------

Help Line: "General Motors Help Line, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."
Help Line: "Thanks for buying our car.  How can I help you?"
Customer: "How do I work it?"
Help Line: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "Do I know how to what?"
Help Line: "Do you know how to drive?"
Customer: "I'm not a technical person.  I just want to go places in my car!"
Powered By JFBConnect